Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 02, 2013
Transcript:
Goat: Please don't add verses to nursery rhymes. Rat: Living in shoes has its risks. There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children she didn't know what to do. There was a big man whose wife lived in that shoe. Which he put on his foot and his family was through.
Sherlock Watson about 11 years ago
Emergency! Call Dr. Scholl!:I actually like this version better than the original, where she whips the children before sending them to bed hungry.
margueritem about 11 years ago
Especially in Rat’s world…
Templo S.U.D. about 11 years ago
I remember back in Boy Scout camp a fellow trooper did Arnold Schwatzenegger parodies of Mother Goose like “little boy blue… up” or “Jack be nimble, Jack be quick. Jack jumped over the dynamite stick. He wasn’t quick enough because he blew up.”
BRI-NO-MITE!! Premium Member about 11 years ago
So she gave them all broth without any bread,And whipped them all soundly and sent them to bed.
einarbt about 11 years ago
What rhyme will it be next?
Linda1259 about 11 years ago
For a present day update on Jack, read “The Barn” strip for today!!!
kamb8 about 11 years ago
I’d like to see if Cartoon Boy can do one of these with fairy tale that is darker than the original. Like Bruno Z pointed out, fairy tales are quite gruesome!
punmeister about 11 years ago
The man’s name was Ed Sullivan. He had a really big shoe.
SusanSunshine Premium Member about 11 years ago
His family may be through…. but the children will always be underfoot.
SusanSunshine Premium Member about 11 years ago
This is going to be part of
“That Mother, Rat’s Big Book of Nursery Chrymes,”doublepaw about 11 years ago
He really was a heel to his family.
vwdualnomand about 11 years ago
way some houses architecture, a shoe might be built. also, how does she pass the zoning board and the dreaded homeowner’s association.
JudyAz about 11 years ago
Aww, Rat, put a sock in it!
featherweight about 11 years ago
It’s about time they got an update
me about 11 years ago
They were gruesome because they were Christian analogies in a time when people believed in Satan and didn’t cringe from “earthiness.”
hariseldon59 about 11 years ago
Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard, to get her poor dog a bone. When she got there the cupboard was bare.So the dog ate her.
LuvThemPluggers about 11 years ago
The real question is, "Where did an OLD woman get all these kids? Somebody call CPS!
tengu99 about 11 years ago
Sweet, I was hoping he would do more of these.
samsofe about 11 years ago
Yaaay!
Number Three about 11 years ago
I used to love that Nursery Rhyme!
Until Rat ruined it.
LOL xxx
dzw3030 about 11 years ago
I’m surprised no one mentioned the Marine Corps nursery rhymes. Not quotable in a family venue but funny, mostly.
Sisyphos about 11 years ago
Harsh, Rat, harsh! But entirely fitting in the context of fairy tales as admonitory….
Enoki about 11 years ago
Next up: Rat does story book version of fairy tales as told by Andrew Dice Clay….
SusanSunshine Premium Member about 11 years ago
Punmeister …
I think that, unfortunately, their little soles have already been booted through that Heavenly Arch….
Their earthly lives didn’t last…but they have gone to a better lace.
At first their father, realising his misstep, was inconsolable, but as soon as Taps was played, he tied one on (there’s a special counter just for heels like him!) …5then he got his podiatrist to prescribe some uppers, And now, he’s already looking for another little woman to give him some support.
SusanSunshine Premium Member about 11 years ago
Thanks, Punmeister. Yours were clever too.
Um….Pretty please… I’m not “Susie”.
arcticdingo about 11 years ago
…and then there was Andrew Dice Clay…..I can no longer listen to nursery rhymes !!
orinoco womble about 11 years ago
Given how Spock’s kids turned out, not even him…
barister about 11 years ago
Way too C. Dickens for me.
glowing-steak32 over 7 years ago
Smelly houses.