Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for October 12, 2013

Drinking problem? Not me. I’ve got drinking down pat… and it didn’t take me twelve steps to do it.

It’s easy to give up drinking – I do it two or three times a month. Not that I have a problem, mind you.

Sure there is. When you miss your mouth. That’s a problem…. It happens!

he needs to hydrate

I’m on a fifteen-step program, myself. Been following it faithfully for years. That’s how many steps it takes from my couch to the fridge to grab a beer. (Side thought- where did that “d” come from? There’s no “d” in refrigerator!)

That fish is drinking water… I don’t drink water. Fish F**K in water.W.C.Fields

You obviously haven’t watched “Airplane” then, Wiley.

Any topical application is bound to get a few looks.

At least I don’t drink like a fish.

That is an old joke, but a good one.

Took me awhile to figure out the joke when I first saw it on “Airplane” (I was in my mid teens) but laugh thinking about it ever since!

Lends credence to the saying “It’s okay to drink like a fish as long you drink what a fish drinks.”

“Hey, you want a beer chaser with that?”“Dude drinking that straight will kill ya.”

Drinking is not the problem. The hangover is the problem.

Looks like a fish, smells like a fish, drinks like a fish…. must be a ……

After all my drinking my arms look like a weight lifters. (Now if I could just get the rest of me to look like that. Monster arms with a beer belly…..hahaha)Seriously I don’t look anything like that.

If Wall Eye is sitting in a tavern isn’t he a fish out of water?

I am reminded of a song from the old Doctor DeMento days, the line was "She drank like a…..well she drank A LOT!

Wow! He drinks like a fish!

I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down and pass out. No Problem !

This immediately came to mind:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl4plPGRG8o

“You obviously haven’t watched “Airplane” then, Wiley.”Of course he has. Wiley wouldn’t not watch Airplane!.

If you need a liquid to live — not just function, or pretend to function but literally survive — it’s not a “drinking problem.”

Words have exact meanings.

mydas, welby, gokie, of course Walleye Miller has watched Airplane!…..He’s the new Old School…