Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for November 13, 2013

“All The World’s A Stage, And Kids Give Me Stagefright”“Keep Out Of Reach Of Children”“A Good Mask And A Thick Skin”or’“Where No Tiff Has Gone Before (Part II)”

Aha. The reason we waited for is out.

she finally admitted it.

oh my god! I’m the fifth commenter!!! I can’t believe it!!

“Brought t you”, by…412 ™ brand hams, from Freeberg Farms… “So plentiful, plump, juicy, and meaty, they’re full of themselves!”… -

Shatner!’ the musical… Appearing near Broadway, this Tuesday….. – And by….Star Wreck, the Next Abomination… “This week’s episode: Merrie Maladies…”

tiffany as a decent, self-aware individual complimenting others and not being a self-absorbed arrogant delusional b*tch?

What is this comic coming to? ;)

Couldn’t resist, sorry… thought it was a “sponsor” copy coming in at the last minute…. was originally going to comment on what you said, how it reminded me of a “Sci-Fi” sort of thing, when I suddenly saw the opportunity to be…. Enterprising….

Well,this is new. Tiff coming to Luann for help. Next thing you know Tiff will get polite and thank Luann and maybe - HUG her and they become friends. I guess this is the All Growed Up part we hear about. ;)

Tiff is finally starting to mature, thank goodness.

IamJayBluE, you are a nut. I come here just to see what you will say next.

Ha ha!

Is it just me or does that kid with the bloody nose look like a young version of Brad (as drawn now)? I think Brad has some ‘splainin’ to do!

Okay, now to be serious…. I guess Tiff’s tears from before, came also from her frustration… she really seems devoted to honing her craft (shout out to Seismic) and she was really trying to give it her best shot…. she’s focusing on something other than make-up and boys… I’m sure that she’s not giving those things up anytime soon, but at least she’s got more depth this way….

I think I had Tiffany for my kindergarten teacher…

Thank you very much!!! – I’ll stop now, since I’ll probably be knee-deep in “Tribble”, later on, for this!….

Alright, one more from me… – If so, I guess it’s Scott to be a good one….

Ha ha ha!!!

I’m a little disappointed that we didn’t get more insight on why Tiff is such a B-Witch… however, her apparent lack of sympathy yesterday at the boy’s injury makes me think her parents never showed much love to her, either…. just hand her the credit card & send her on her way.

There is still plenty of time for deeper revelations, especially if Luann and Tiffany are going to learn to talk to each other like grown ups.

It is amazing that Tiffany is so letting her guard down to Luann! Maybe she is in need of a friend and, with no Crystal around, is willing to use Luann. Or, maybe she really is maturing without even realizing it….

Leo Autodidact said, less than a minute ago

If Tiff actually had ANY self-confidence she would have said “I’m not that good, yet.”

As she didn’t maybe she’s realizing that her “Career Plan”(Become a famous actress, get rich, live in luxury with servants and staff, etc.) might not work out the way she was expecting, and a House full of “Little Monsters” might actually be the best she can hope for.

If she’s REALLY lucky!

All of ya’lls Star Trek comments were Spock-tacular!

Sometimes these commenters go where no one has gone before!

Tiff, you could take acting … LESSONS … from a great … ACTOR.. who we all know …. PORTRAYED … Captain Kirk!

This strip shows that Tiffany really is determined to succeed as an actress and how hard she works at achieving that goal, taking jobs that she doesn’t even like because she was told that they will help make her “better” at her craft. Contrast this with Luann’s list of job requirements that she gave to Bernice – she wanted a perfect job that had no downside (from her point of view) at all. Tiffany is far more driven to succeed than Luann, which is why I was surprised last week when she said she wanted to quit. At that time I made the same suggestion that Luann is making today, namely “Act like someone who cares.”"-I think Tiffany is good enough to pull that off, unless she in fact has some real issue with kids’ typical bodily problems, as she indicates today. I hope we shall learn enough to understand why that might be – was someone in her family hurt in an accident when Tiff was a child? On the other hand, maybe that’s just the way she is. Lots of people are simply squeamish, period. Just as Quill is helping Gunther to “man up”, maybe Luann can help Tiffany to overcome her natural inclination and become more capable of enduring “tantrums, crying, and snot”. Luann and Tiffany complement each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I hope they can find a way to work as a team.

Happy Birthday, Greg! OK, everybody pile on, he’s fair game today.

Happy Birthday Greg Evans! Hope the next 60 is great. Oh, and Happy Birthday Whoopie Goldberg.

…or rather, the next 66 be great!!

At least there will NOT be any lil tiffanies running around. Luann’s world is safe from that.Most likely if tiffany found herself preggers. She would run to the nearest abortion clinic warp speed.

Well, Shiver me timbers! A rare kernel of truth from Tiff! Maybe there is hope for her, after all! Stay with those kids, Tiff. You’ll get the hang of it.

And yes, Happy Birthday Greg!

they act like all kids are gross. snot nose, bloody nose, boogers, pinching and fighting.

Happy birthday, Greg! \o/ \o/ \o/

Happy Birthday Greg!! Oh…and some kids are just prone to nosebleeds, especially when the heat is first turned on in the fall. It’s not an actual injury.

Several years ago my mom tried to talk me into being a Big Brother. After I told her that I didn’t like little kids she asked what kind of person doesn’t like little kids? My reply was the kind that has no business being a Big Brother.

For injuries, all you need is one kid who likes to ‘explore’. You don’t need a fight. Don’t you remember?

Yes! I don’t get the idea of people not knowing “actor” can apply to both genders. (Unless maybe English isn’t their first language.)

I may have missed the strip/s showing actual teaching at that third-rate drama camp! Darn!

Curiouser and curiouser…

I agree, especially after seeing him on ‘American Pickers’, one of my favorite cable shows…

I think Night-Gaunt was recalling either of these Fields’ gems:-“Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There’s nothing like having a midget for a butler.”-or-“I like children – fried.”

I’m thinking of this Fields quote:

-

“Show me a great actor and I’ll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you’ve seen the devil.”

If “Actor” is generic for men and women, then it should be just as correct for men to refer to themselves as “Actresses”. Just saying….

Probably someone like the Edward Scissorhands character that Johnny Dep once played…

Get him to the nurse! Stat!

It seems a sure bet that Tiffany’s deepest inner fear is of becoming pregnant— she probably has had nightmares about it!

Probably a good idea to wait till adulthood, and have a decent hubby to help with the kid.

Nah… probably an outbreak of leprosy.

Did Tiff quit or what? ^Sometimes the word quit does seem so final, but one has a chance to back out, before two weeks…. it’s all on how good a relationship you have with the boss and with the work environment (customers/clients as well as co-workers)… – That being said, Monday, Luann seemed shocked when Tiff told her she was quitting, so maybe that’s what is going on, her two weeks…. or slightly possible, maybe Tiff took up the Chin on his admonition for her to shadow Luann, even though she could still be leaning towards walking…. or maybe Luann caught her in time and may try to talk her out of it…

Heh heh! Unconventional!! Thanks!!! – And that does seem kinda true, about those on the politi-strips…. – I guess maybe if I’m a nut, it’s the kind that would be welcome at a picnic, and those kinds are only good for holding up the bookshelf…..

Holy Cow! Tiff’s beginning to grasp personal limitations! Personal honesty!

Personal growth is on the table! Go Tiff!

I know that everyone has weighed in on it, already, but I’ve also heard the PC reason for the change, as well…. it used to be acceptable, it seemed, until more recently, so now it’s the word ‘actor’ (alternatively it seems acceptable to use ‘female actor’ /‘female performer’ ), same way comedienne was changed to just comedian… – Here’s some info as well, from Wikipedia…. – After 1660 in England, when women first appeared on stage, actor and actress were initially used interchangeably for female performers, but later, influenced by the French actrice, actress became the usual term. The etymology is a simple derivation from actor with ess added.4 The word actor refers to a person who acts regardless of gender, and this term “is increasingly preferred”, although actress, referring specifically to a female person who acts, “remains in general use”.4 Within the profession, however, the re-adoption of the neutral term dates to the 1950s–60s, the post-war period when women’s contribution to cultural life in general was being re-evaluated.5 Actress remains the common term used in major acting awards given to female recipients.6

The gender-neutral term “player” was common in film in the early days of the Motion Picture Production Code with regards to the cinema of the United States, but is now generally deemed archaic. However, it remains in use in the theatre, often incorporated into the name of a theatre group or company (such as the East West Players).

> Maybe Tiffany and Luann should stop sharing their feelings and put an end to the mixed martial arts competition going on in the after school octagon.>Ah, that does explain the high rate of bruises, breaks, and blood at Lincoln Elementary. Who’s winning the competition? Need you ask? Standing in the middle of the octagon, with severed fingers scattered all around, is… Shannon!

It would be funny if one of the kids were named Chuck, and another Bruce….

Sheesh, with that many kids getting hurt at one center so frequently, there’d be an investigation.

@howtheduck-courtesy of seismic-2-> Maybe Tiffany and Luann should stop sharing their feelings and put an end to the mixed martial arts competition going on in the after school octagon.>Ah, that does explain the high rate of bruises, breaks, and blood at Lincoln Elementary. Who’s winning the competition? Need you ask? Standing in the middle of the octagon, with severed fingers scattered all around, is… Shannon!

- See, this is what happens when those of us who aren’t real comedians (comediannes?) unleash our questionable powers. We activate a seismic reaction….

Maybe Tiff will get a tiny scratch on her face from getting hit by a child’s toy. Then she will cry because that little scratch made her ugly. Her mom thinks that if Tiffany isn’t pretty she is nothing. Is that how this story line will go? It went that way for a kindergarten child a long time ago. She was my niece’s classmate.

^^Actually, actor has become the unisex word for the profession

free upload

Speaking of the devil, I have always wondered what kind of a kid would have resulted from the union of Phyllis Diller and Paul Lynde…^^Paul Lynde wasn’t the sort to unify with women

I am impressed with how Greg balances story plot with daily punchline, although it sometimes feels as both are compromised by the other.

Beautiful plate of cool beans, having that record!!! – I’d like to find Leonard Nimoy’s album…. – If you’re familiar with the Animaniacs, they had an episode with Spock and Nimoy both having a “Name-alike”, where they battled Yakko, Wakko and Dot for use of the Karaoke Machine…. “Willie Shatmer” kept trying to do “This… Old … Man…” (in Kirk speak) but kept getting interrupted and “Lenny Kneeboy” was scheduled to hog up the machine to do “Three….blind… mice” (in Spock voice)….

I’m with Tiff, kids freak me out too.

Act 2, he confronts a windmill named… Khaaaaaan!!!!!!!!!! ……

Paul Lynde wasn’t the sort to unify with women

LOL, yeh, I did know that, but It was an interesting thought to ponder – after all, I imagine the hardware might have been capable…

Paul attended my Alma Mater. When I was at school, Paul had returned for a homecoming and got into some real trouble. He had gotten quite smashed on game day. He was in the local BK and, apparently, got into it with an African American gentleman who was ahead of him in line. Apparently, Paul hurled a couple of Racial slurs at the gentleman. The man simply brushed it off and continued to wait.

What Paul didn’t know was that the gentleman was a very distinguished and well known “full” Professor of sociology on campus. The other thing he didn’t know was that a couple of reporters from the campus Newspaper were eating in the BK when it went down. The story made the campus paper the next day and then local MSM shortly thereafter. Paul ended up having to make a full apology in the campus paper within a week. He wasn’t invited to attend any further Univ. events. It was a big deal at the time.

Betcha that’s one time he would have wished to have his powers in “Bewitched” to take it all away…

It wouldn’t have helped. The campus paper and (later) the electronic local MSM were relentless. That story ran constantly until Paul made the apology. For a while, Paul’s PR people tried to deny it, but the campus reporters had him cold, and they didn’t stop until they got that apology.

For me, “Music From Outer Space” (Nimoy) and “Transformed Man” (Shatner) are the ones I’d find the most interesting… of course, not for listening pleasure, but for posterity….. – Whoah!!! Only 8.95 for the whole lot? Wow!!! That is generous ! I was on Amazon (where I usually go when I don’t raid a “brick and mortar” store) and people want 40 and 50 for them right off the bat… Thanks for the tip!

A couple other substanial alcoholic/drug stories are “Jake the Snake” Roberts, and also “Big Scott” Hall (AKA Razor Ramon)… two wrestlers who were really messed up and afraid of having to deal with people, and their own selves….. notably among them, the Snake’s protection was to hurt others before they hurt him… and they purposely tried to waste theirselves away with substance abuses…..