Pickles by Brian Crane for January 15, 2014

I agree it would look so bad,dying from a shopping car accident in Walmart.

MOVE UP IN THE WORLD AND SAY TARGET.

Opal, can you trust Earl to honor that request?

The incident in aisle three.

Opal would make a good Wal-martian !

Well, I’m sure I wouldn’t want anyone knowing I was at Wal•Mart

At my funeral, the spouse will stand up and tell the crowd every thing she considered stupid that I did all the decades we were married.

At my uncle’s funeral his daughter spent a minor eternity explaining he had been sick..Most of us had already figured he must have been sick if we were sitting at his funeral..Here lies Opal PicklesGone before her timeAnd her wit like Donald RicklesNow in a warmer clime..She’d be with us now, you knowYes, she’d still be livingIf it all she didn’t blowAt a sale Wal-Mart was giving

I’m looking forward to receiving the “old coot” status on the highways

Bill Cosby on Lombard Street

I read them every day… to see if I’m listed in them.

I would rather take my chances with a shopping cart than a plane. Although I have played a little Bumper Carts. And, I SHOP AT WALMART! So there!

He promises… Right, Earl?xxx

Though she reminds me some of Hyacinthe Bucket, I’m sure Hyacinthe wouldn’t be caught dead or alive in a Walmart.

Better treat him right Opal.

Avoid walmarts and it is less likely to happen.

I find that it’s women and old people who are most likely to cause accidents in supermarkets.

Not a problem, Opal. I haven’t seen a cause of death in a newspaper obit in decades, not even in a case where the cause of death is on the front page of the paper.

Just to admit shopping at Walmart is bad