Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 10, 2014

Might as well leave; that’s probably the high point of the evening.

Desperate much, Stephan?

And just in case anyone missed the memo, Stephan and his wife are NOT divorcing in real life. Fortunately, she seems to have a great sense of humor (and how can you NOT love a man who’s not afraid to laugh at himself the way Stephan does?)!

Woman: “But, I would like your autograph, Stevie. Sign this.”Pastis: “Your chest? Sure.”Woman: “This too.”Pastis: “Your inner thigh? I’m on it.”Woman: “And would it be too much to ask for this one?”Pastis: “$500 bar tab? Not a problem.”Woman: ""Love your work, Stevie."Pastis: “Ah, finally, a fan. Wait this I gloat over this to the ex!”

who would issue Stephan a CREDIT CARD????

Has anyone looked at the pictures of him in real life? He’s REALLY cute!

Meesta Pastess always draw uggly womens. He no can draw pritty womens? Luckie he draw croks gud.

I delivered pizzas for many years when I was younger. Guys hit on me quite a bit. AH the old days…Anyway there was this 1st lieutenant that tried to pick me up by showing me his fancy credit cards. We didn’t take them, so I did NOT need to see them. Even if I hadn’t been married I still would have said no. I was quite repulsed by his attitude.

Give up Steph and leave. At least she talked to you.

you say he’s cute?

Real-life Pastis is in good shape, does not smoke, and is often clean-shaven. He draws crowds of admiring fans (many female!) on his book promotion tours.Of course, this is Cartoon-Boy, who is an out-of-shape, smoking, unshaven schmuck separated from his Staci and trying to compete with younger guys, even so desperate as to try the bar scene!

I’d say Stephan is a STUD, but I doubt he’s 92 5/8" tall!

So he’s not divorced?

earlcrockydile – that cracked me up! It started my day with a laugh. Thanks!

I’d die if I met Mr. Pasties in a bar! :)

@Bernadette—If Steph were in a bar, he would be drawing beers!!

And I pal around with a rat and a pig! Hey, where are you going?

Ooops.

Stephan would most likely say this to a woman:“You’ve dropped something…my jaw”Hmm. Maybe not.xxx

Just use the hole you came out of Stephen…

Crawl into a hole?

Careful there, Steph, or you’re going to get a knee to the face!

Too much about cartoon boy. Must have run out of puns.

Heh heh… What? You didn’t drop your American Express gold card… Heh heh… I’m defiantly not hiding it in my pocket… Heh heh…

I agree with Skeptic. He IS really cute. His wife in real life is a lucky woman.

Darby Conley’s hot, too. There are actually a LOT of hotties doing the funnies.

Without a doubt, this is the most humorous comments page I have ever encountered. To all of you, I say: Thank you very much!

this sorta thing has happened to me a couple times. Makes me want to leave the building immediately. Its almost like a waiter/waitress saying “enjoy your meal (:” and you say “you too”