Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 15, 2010

  1. Warthog
    wndrwrthg  over 14 years ago

    There needs to be more signs like this posted.

     •  Reply
  2. Jack noire comic
    LordDogmore  over 14 years ago

    Amen!

     •  Reply
  3. Missing large
    Pacejv  over 14 years ago

    Saw one just like that at the Christian Science Reading Room.

     •  Reply
  4. Missing large
    Kiba65  over 14 years ago

    Nothing in the world like a good cup of coffee..

     •  Reply
  5. Missing large
    JohnHerbison  over 14 years ago

    I liked the Frank & Ernest strip where one of them got so confused about the variety of choices at a coffee shop that he ordered an Al Pacino.

     •  Reply
  6. Macaw1
    parethed  over 14 years ago

    Just tell the coffee to come over here and pour itself…

     •  Reply
  7. Missing large
    kreole  over 14 years ago

    Cup of Joe please…

     •  Reply
  8. Missing large
    kreole  over 14 years ago

    Not serving ‘frappastupid’ coffee is a step forward!

     •  Reply
  9. 654px red eyed tree frog   litoria chloris edit1
    Superfrog  over 14 years ago

    Adding milk to coffee (whether it’s “textured” or not) simple neutralizes the tannins and destroys the flavour. Why would anyone want to do that? It’s like adding milk to red wine.

     •  Reply
  10. Ys
    HabaneroBuck  over 14 years ago

    Yeah, right, Mainers cater right to the tourists every year…ain’t no money in locals, fo sho.

     •  Reply
  11. Large dolphin1a
    DolphinGirl78  over 14 years ago

    I want one for my job… :) I work in Human Resources…

     •  Reply
  12. Kitty at sunset
    wicky  over 14 years ago

    I am the only one who does not like that starbucks crud, not as long as I get my “Wiley fix” each AM.

     •  Reply
  13. 11 06 126
    Varnes  over 14 years ago

    Hey, it’s Tasters Choice with cream and sugar for me. If that makes me a heathen, so be it!

     •  Reply
  14. Love triumphs
    Donna Haag  over 14 years ago

    i work for starbucks AND I can’t stand the stuff; but i do want that sign.

     •  Reply
  15. Palms too
    pearlandpeach  over 14 years ago

    but will they know why they are being slapped?

    that sign could cover a multitude of actions/requests.

    I like Starbucks varieties.

     •  Reply
  16. Littlemoon2
    halavana  over 14 years ago

    I’m a tea drinker but what people do to that beverage is about as frappastupid. Hmm. I like that word! Thanks Wiley.

    Possible definition: frappastupid: (adj.) convoluted beyond recognition, can no longer be identified as the original substance.

     •  Reply
  17. Ugly poor
    Prey  over 14 years ago

    Double roasted Spanish coffee is for me.

     •  Reply
  18. Satyr d
    ottod Premium Member over 14 years ago

    Bleep right! Uh, could I have that with hazelnut-flavored creamer and some shaved chocoloate on top?

     •  Reply
  19. Missing large
    ChazNCenTex  over 14 years ago

    If you’re chocolate needs a shave its been in the cupboard too long!

     •  Reply
  20. Missing large
    PalomaP5  over 14 years ago

    hmmmm, coffee and chocolate….. and todays my B’day. I deserve both today…. gonna go out and get me some!

     •  Reply
  21. Photo  1
    thirdguy  over 14 years ago

    I got a brother-in -law in the cupboard who always needs a shave, wait, no, he’s in the closet. sorry, we were talking about coffee?

     •  Reply
  22. V  9
    freeholder1  over 14 years ago

    Old sign at the auto place: “$20.00 per hour to fix your car. $40.00 if you help.” I think they’re assuming the whole family is helping these days, but still a hoot.

     •  Reply
  23. Pics2 030
    vexatron1984  over 14 years ago

    I’m a tea drinker too, but I always have that straight up!

     •  Reply
  24. Grog poop
    GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago

    I think it’s a pretty safe bet that you won’t be getting a visit from Adam Newman.

     •  Reply
  25. Drfcassowary bigger
    Creniere  over 14 years ago

    $2 fine for saying “expresso” instead of “espresso”. Pay at the door.

     •  Reply
  26. Silverknights
    JanLC  over 14 years ago

    No Richard you’re not alone. Vexatron1984 - I’m with you. Tea - hold the foo foo.

     •  Reply
  27. J0262810
    Wildmustang1262  over 14 years ago

    I already drank my coffee!

     •  Reply
  28. Cheryl 149 3
    Justice22  over 14 years ago

    Coffee I drank on board ship wasn’t bad but our Army coffee was the only coffee I ever had to chew.

     •  Reply
  29. Missing large
    Cmlbx  over 14 years ago

    Turkish coffee, it’s what espresso aspires to be.

     •  Reply
  30. Th giraffe
    lazygrazer  over 14 years ago

    I will patronize Starbucks the day they add a shot of bourbon to the options.

     •  Reply
  31. Missing large
    michealdark  over 14 years ago

    I happen to drink chai lattes. Then again, chai is tea…so yeah, there ya go.

     •  Reply
  32. My eye
    vldazzle  over 14 years ago

    I had coffee and toast today and yesterday, but only because I’m out of eggs. I’ll be going to the store today. I love Taster’s Choice Hazelnut crystals (with about 1/2 heavy cream) but I like it better -just crunchy crystals on double vanilla ice cream ;-) yum!

     •  Reply
  33. Dsc00254  2
    ronaldmundy  over 14 years ago

    grazer, i just bring the singles with me, but i love your option. the slower my coffee pours, the better i like it. yeah, gimme the one off the back burner you made at 3am. bourbon also goes well with chocalates.

     •  Reply
  34. Missing large
    cmugnier  over 14 years ago

    mightaswellbe,

    Ditto for the Army.

    Bivouacking in the snow is an effective learning experience.

     •  Reply
  35. 5346ae65734b4d0e82350407ef0d8e00 250
    cleokaya  over 14 years ago

    I want a medium roast coffee, strong and without adornment.

     •  Reply
  36. 104 2745
    Trebor39  over 14 years ago

    I learned to drink coffee in the army. Now that’s coffee. Could also be jet fuel.

     •  Reply
  37. 061
    pawpawbear  over 14 years ago

    I want that sign on the sies and back of my truck. Little cars have no respect for big trucks or the damage they can do. As for coffee, just keep my cup full and a little creamer around, I’ll be good.

     •  Reply
  38. Dsc00030
    alviebird  over 14 years ago

    Filtered water, clean coffee maker (no soap residue), and beans I just got through grinding (in a clean grinder). It’s all in the details. Paint it black. If you have to add something then you’re not doing it right. Think I’ll go get another cup.

    What’s the recipe for Nuclear Coffee? I think I may already be making it.

     •  Reply
  39. 1682106 inline inline 2 mel brooks master
    Can't Sleep  over 14 years ago

    Forget the coffee -

    Everyone who’s ever worked a cash register would like to have one of those signs (and a concealed baseball bat).

    If your only exposure to cashiers is as a customer, you really should try it from our side of the counter. You wouldn’t believe the people we have to put up with - and smile (through gritted teeth).

    Thanks, Wiley

     •  Reply
  40. Yellow pig small
    bmonk  over 14 years ago

    The reverse is also true: try to get a plain, ordinary cup of coffee at Starbucks. If you really want to spend that much for ordinary coffee.

     •  Reply
  41. Missing large
    spok27  over 14 years ago

    the coffee that they serve here they say is mighty fine, its good for cuts and bruises and tastes like iodine.

     •  Reply
  42. Dsc00030
    alviebird  over 14 years ago

    NightShade09;

    I’ve worked as a cashier in convenience stores so I know what you mean.

    No register in a taxi, but much the same thing. Very interesting job, though. With interesting not always being a good thing.

     •  Reply
  43. Missing large
    DevXIII  over 14 years ago

    Seeing as I don’t drink coffee I could care less.

    But can I borrow that sign? I know a few places that could use it more than Flo.

     •  Reply
  44. Yellow pig small
    bmonk  over 14 years ago

    Sign in a cafe:

    “Don’t gripe about the coffee. Remember that you too may be old and weak someday.”

     •  Reply
  45. Arnoldstang
    rvonluchen  over 14 years ago

    At the Starbucks I used to go to I always asked (and got) a cup of plain coffee. Once I said to the barrista that I felt stupid ordering plain coffee and she said, at least we know what you’re ordering.

     •  Reply
  46. Lore01
    lorelei6361  over 14 years ago

    I used to work w/ 2 manager who would use 2 scoops for a 12 cup pot… eww. I asked why they didn’t just let us make it regular strength and add water. They said the flavor was still too strong. I say don’t drink coffee if you hate it that much, theres plenty of caffinated beverages.

     •  Reply
  47. Redfoxava
    reynard61  over 14 years ago

    Then there’s the Edgar Allan Poe Special: A cask of a Macchiato…

     •  Reply
  48. Missing large
    puddleglum1066  over 14 years ago

    “Hey, waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!”

    “Well, sir, it should; it was ground this morning.”

     •  Reply
  49. Grog poop
    GROG Premium Member over 14 years ago

    puddleglum1066 That reminds me of an old memory: Years ago in Montreal the office that I worked employed a coffee lady. We used to call the coffee in the morning mud and sludge in the afternoon - but we never told her that - but it was that bad.

     •  Reply
  50. Pics2 030
    vexatron1984  over 14 years ago

    Forget being a cashier (although that is also trying to ones nerves) try working behind the counter of a college library.

    “I need that big blue book, you know the one?”

    “I need this book, I don’t know the name of it, or the author, and I cant’ remember the name of the class it is for or even what the teachers name is or the subject. Can you help me find it?”

    “I don’t get what the big deal is, Louisiana isn’t even a big state.” said by someone right after the Louisiana Purchase nickels came out.

    I kid you not, I heard these kind of things all of the time, and from people getting their Bachelor’s and Master’s.

     •  Reply
  51. Willy wonka factory
    dsom8  over 14 years ago

    Instead of hazelnut, call it filbert-flavored. Takes a lot of the romance out of it. Emphasizes the stupidity.

     •  Reply
  52. P 00316s
    James Lindley Premium Member over 14 years ago

    Real coffee, my favorite kind. Make it strong and keep it coming.

     •  Reply
  53. Grim sm blue eyes
    Ooops! Premium Member over 14 years ago

    Doc T -

    I have recently began throwing equal parts coffee grounds and water in the food processor and mixing to a smooth paste. Heat and eat with a spoon.

    And for a nice dessert mix with equal parts chocolate pudding & top with dab of whip cream.

    Thanks for the inspiration!

     •  Reply
Sign in to comment

More From Non Sequitur