Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 30, 2014

Unless the kitchen is in Alaska, the plan’s not working.

Do you think it’s easy to run the microwave for the chili and cheese?

Oooh – there is a name for what ails Steph! http://www.themarysue.com/witzelsucht-pun-disease/

Wow, I read this strip five times for a pun before I realized it wasn’t one… I’ve gotten desensitized!

Is this the start of a week of Pig-on-a-diet jokes?Or is it Saturday?

Gee, Pig, I’d really miss the milkshake to accompany the chili cheese fries! Be still, my beating heart! —Like Pig’s. Pig? Pig?! 911!

or bound up, constipation… not funny!

Makin’ bacon. Ummmmmm. Uh, Pig? How do you feel about salt and smoke?

And, uh, next time, bring some for Cabrito there.

Calories-In verses Calories-Out. No more complicated than that; for most cases. But then again; the diet industry wouldn’t make any money…. ;-)

Connect the microwave to a bicycle-powered generator, and you’ve got something. For bonus points, attach the refrigerator compressor to a bicycle.

Pig has the right idea, but I don’t think he realizes just how many calories he’s taking in versus the few he burned by walking to the kitchen.

Instead of burning off more than he takes in, maybe he should try taking in less than he burns. There is a slight difference.

I have heard that the pepsin in chili peppers help burn the calories so just how hot does the pig like his chili..4 or 5 alarm?

Some diet…

Well done, Pig!