Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for September 15, 2014

If you want to give her a “Dutch treat,” Rat, move to Holland and never come back; that’ll be a real treat for her.

typical ungrateful woman……

Sex is a side effect to the drink…especially if it was accessorized with Ecstasy.

Well, maybe it’s the gentleman in me, but I never thought that paying to get a woman drunk was considered “gentlemanly” either. It just always struck me as being the tactic that jackasses chose after their version of charm proved unsuccessful.

lot of women find it excusable in themselves to say, “I chose to go to a bar, and gave the drunk me the freedom to let myself loose”(or when thinking of others) while they “judge others” who chose to work “in the street” (is what they envision most when thinking of sex for hire) as most of the street ones are hooked on drugs, unlike the call girls and the ones in Nevada

Rat, will forever be alone

Rat strikes out again. As long as Rat is Rat, he will always strike out. It’s a Law of the Universe.

I seem to be out of sink, a six dollar Martini, yes it has been a while since I was in a Bar, now I ask? who is screwing whome

I don’t know about that, but I would like to think that Rat will actually succeed. However, since he only paid half, she will begin whatever nasty he had in mind but halfway through will announce, “Well, that’s half a . See ya.” It’s why Rat is usually very tense.

No mouths?

“Then I’ll just drink half.”

Ferfect jpb for Rat, “Bartender” Duck vcould be the bouncer.

Another phrase almost everybody says in their lifetime.xxx

Wow, Rat. Good job.

CLASSIC RAT!!!!

Half is about half more than I’d expect from Rat. Surprised he didn’t get the bartender to charge her for his!