Frazz by Jef Mallett for January 25, 2015

Crayola-shopped!!

True enough. I personally think there is a law the photo must be completely, utterly unflattering in order to be accepted.

I’ve been told the DMV has a Special Class that they make new Photographers take!

I have to wear one of these at work. I’m in aircraft maintenance, and I believe these stupid things present a possible choking hazard. Everyone ends up tucking them under their shirt so they don’t dangle in the way, so what good are they?

The problem with DMV, security badges etc, is that the flash is aimed directly at the person. Watch wedding and other photographers shoot; they usually aim the light off the ceiling or a wall and bounce it for softer light.

Many, many years ago my Boy Scout troop served as ushers for a local college’s football games. One day, while waiting outside the gates to be let in (several hours before kickoff), I saw a guy carrying a huge can of ketchup walk right into the stadium. No one even looked twice at him. I still wonder if maybe a giant can of ketchup might be my ticket to any sporting event in America.

A Scoutmaster once called lanyards a boondoggle – and the name stuck for any pointless task that just occupies time.

Our DMV pictures are improving. I only look like I’m wanted in four states now, rather than ten.