Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 22, 2015

This is the first time I’ve seen anything about retirement planning that resembles what I’ve encountered in my own life…

I’d go with cuneiform, if you know the history of that language as it applies to financial managers.

Any Hieroglyph-ists reading this?

I wont buy anything until I talk to my mummy and daddy..

It’s all just an intricate deception to separate you from your money.

Any answers so far?

Here’s what the planner told me about my retirement: “You can’t afford to.”

I don’t understand why this is not posted on time. YouHave the same amount of time as every other cartoonist and you will cartoons don’t come out every day.

The Oval box: I never knew that. And a good guess, too!

My financial adviser doesn’t talk like an Egyptian…nor does he Walk Like an Egyptian..What is to understand?Put money aside, don’t spend more than you make, take responsibility for your own life.

I had some trouble some years back when the outfit I was with got taken over by a bigger firm. The new outfit farmed out my 401k to insurance companies without furnishing a schedule for my 72t distribution. My former financial advisor had left for another company—he knew the new firm had dolts working for it. But he left me the configuration for the schedule. I went online and perused the Federal statute regs for 72t’s and came up with a schedule to send to the insurance companies so that they could correct the status for early withdrawal and furnish to the IRS to correct their erroneous (understandable) penalty. Good financial advisors are not plentiful.

We went to some “retirement planning”……..It consisted mainly of scare tactics to get people to save more that they really would ever need and put it in places where the planners could make a nice income from……

Check out Dave Ramsey’s Endorsed Local Providers (ELP’s) and the “teach” you how to invest long term.

A-ha!! Lawyer Language!!

Lets see now, where did I put my Rosetta Stone; it’s here some place. So please be patience. There will still be a little time before retirement.

My retirement plan:1. Work until I die.2. Die young.

“I have nothing; I owe much. The rest I leave to the poor.” —Will of Rabelais

lol, to get on the other side…

… or anything having to do with money management.

Bruno: are you suggesting it’s a pyramid scheme?

retirement planning is easy. first acquire a very large amount of money, second live long enough to spend it.

My retirment planning went well, years of contributing to investments and a pension (pensions aren’t freebies, you PAY for them in advance!- it’s called planning. Retired early because disabilities caught up with me, and VA medical care (also have group health plan for spouse and what VA can’nt do because we’re remote) and disability “comp and pension”, with my pension (reduced some because I couldn’t work as long as planned), plus income from stock holdings paying dividends (not a lot but it helped), led to a “comfortable” retirement in the community I live in. Had I lived in L.A., New York, or San Francisco, even Portland area, wouln’t be bringing in enough to be “comfortable” with much higher cost of living. BTW, also paid off mortgage before retirement, so rental on THAT house pays the mortgage payments on the different house we moved into as a residence- out of town, out of hustle and buslte, deer in the yard, dog on my lap, yep, comfortable, but not “rich”. (Well, taking care of granddaughter today as the kids are working, baby sitter got sick, does make life “rich”, and “interesting”, money isn’t hardly everything!)

After that spiel, what I’m dealing with on the heiroglyphics component is I reached that “magic age”, where all my Roth IRA accounts have to be moved or closed out to different sources, and THAT has become a zoo!! Months to get it all figured out, but my new “forced” investiment pays only 1/2 of ONE percent annual interest, where my TSP and other holdings were paying 5 1/2% to 8% every year. I “save”, only because moving to lousy interest was better than paying 20% interest on pulliing the money out of Roth…

It all boils down to beding a social “liberal” who never really cared about money (still don’t), but being fiscal conservative and stashing a little away at a time for a long time, in savings, stocks, retirement plans, took 33 years to be READY to retire, even though I’d planned to work 35 years before retiring, the safety of my cell mates (cubicle life doesn’t work for wilderness type people!! and startle response from PTSD makes surprises a real surprise for folks who touch you from behind! (“Ka-thump”, of falling, semi-concious, bodies in the office draws attention.).

SO, on that planning folks, PLAN AHEAD, and also plan for those unexpected surprises!!

So, for all you “conservatives” who don’t want taxes or investments that take from your purchase of ever more “toys”, the boats, ATVs, et al, should put a little asice, and you “liberals” who don’t care about money (like me) MUST put a little away anyway, because “live long and prosper” in our culture of “live only for today, and when the going gets tough, go shopping!” will NOT take care of you in old age, “prosper” only works if you plan ahead.

End rant and advice for today!

Thanks Wiley, always point to reality, maybe they’ll actually figure it out!

You are mistaken (in my opinion) by assuming that your stated relationship between cost of living and pay is a given. It is not in all cases. Any job has certain value and is worth no more, if one reaches that pay ceiling then it is time to try to advance to a job that pays more.One has some control over their lives, time to stop blaming others for failure or just plain bad luck.I used a similar, if not exact, method as dtroutma described he used for himself. I retired early at 58 after 39 years in my profession. Although my retirement was not due to a disability. I will certainly accept that there is an element of luck involved, and as DutchUncle said, there are thieves an ne’er-do- wells out there. However, one must be ready to adapt and overcome rather than sit down wail “Oh poor pitiful me!”.As to why I “don’t understand” your take on it; Perhaps it is because I am not as smart as you think you are.

I understand the party of the first part & that there ain’t no sanity clause.

The last time I did any “Financial Planning”, the Broker churned my account and sucked up about 30% of my savings as "Commissions..When I complained to the SEC, he took their Female “Investigator” out for dinner, drinks and…She wrote me a Nasty letter about me trying to ruin the poor man’s Career.The “And” part of that evening must have been something she Really Enjoyed..