The Comic Strip That Has A Finale Every Day by John "Scully" Scully for May 18, 2015
May 17, 2015
May 19, 2015
Transcript:
Thanks to the Readers of "The Comic Strip that has a Finale Every Day!" This is the last strip! It's been a great run! Tomorrow: Goodbye again!
Pickled Pete 27 days ago
Dad peeling a banana…
When I was six or so my dad started this routine every time he ate a banana…
Dad, peeling the first strip of the banana peel…
“One skin”
Peels the second strip…
“Two skin”
“Three skin”
“Five skin”
I asked him, “What happened to the Four skin?”
Dad answered, “It’s a Jewish banana.”
Still not getting it . . .(Dec 26)
Pickled Pete 26 days ago
The strange case of albinism and GENES
An American anthropologist has been studying a tribe in Africa by living with them for a year.
One day, the chief called him into the chief’s hut.
The chief sighed. “Well, my friend, it seems that we must ask you to leave.”
The anthropologist was surprised by this; he thought he had gained the tribe’s trust.
“Why, what’s the matter?” he stammered.
“It seems that a woman in our tribe has given birth to a baby… a white baby,” said the chief.
The anthropologist began to laugh. “Oh, is that all? No, that’s just a classic case of albinism. It’s caused by inheriting recessive pigment genes and…”
The chief didn’t look convinced, so he pointed at a nearby flock of sheep. “See those sheep? All of them are white except for that one. It’s like that!”
The chief was silent for a moment and then in a low voice said, “Listen, you don’t talk about the sheep, and I won’t talk about the baby, okay?”
(Dec 27)
Pickled Pete 25 days ago
The Fishbowl
A dumb American is on a vacation to the Netherlands when he came across a Dutchman in the bar who asked him if he knew what logic was.
“No.” said the American.
So the Dutchman asked if he had a fish bowl.
“Yes.” said the American.
So the Dutchman asked: “So if you have a fish bowl you probably also have a fish?”
“Yes.” said the American
“So if you have a fish, it’s likely you also have other pets?” Asked the Dutchman.
“Yes.” said the American again.
“So if you have multiple pets you probably have kids.” said the Dutchman
“That’s right.” said the American.
“When you have kids its likely for you to have a wife too.” said the Dutchman.
“Yes.” said the American.
“So when you have a wife it means you are a straight man.” said the Dutchman.
“Why yes.” said the American again.
“So that is logic.” said the Dutchman.
After a week the American went back to his home and asked his neighbor if he knew what logic was.
“No.” said his neighbor.
So the man asked if he had a fishbowl.
“No.” said his neighbor.
So the man replied: “That means you’re gay!”
(Dec 28)
Pickled Pete 24 days ago
I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection.
The husband called out to his wife in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.
We tried S123 several times, but it didn’t work. So we called the wife in.
As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”
(Dec 29)
Pickled Pete 23 days ago
Surf’s Up
A tourist in Hawaii is amazed at how healthy and invigorated he feels after just a few days into visiting the islands…
He strikes up a conversation with one of the locals while they are wading out into the crystal clear, warm surf on yet another perfect island day. “I just cant get over how beautiful this place is,” the tourist says excitedly, “I feel great! I haven’t felt this young and healthy in years! Island life is fantastic!”
The local says, “I know what you mean! Take me for instance. When I came here I was totally bald, didn’t have any teeth and I couldn’t even walk…and look at me now!”
The tourist looks at him and says, “Wow, that’s amazing! How long have you been here?”
And the local says, “Oh, I was born here.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~R.I.P — Jimmy Carter, the 39th president of the United States.
We salute you!
(Dec 30 )
Pickled Pete 21 days ago
Fortunately I wasn’t dropped from no plane in N. Carolina, so I got no great adventure to talk about, but I do know something about an Irish girl who goes back to her father’s farmhouse for New Year’s Eve.
Her father asked: “Where have you been all this time? Why did you not write to us, not even a line? Why didn’t you call?”
Crying, the girl replied: “Dad, I became a prostitute.”
“*What!?* Out of here you shameless harlot! You’re a disgrace to this family.”
“Okay, Dad. If that’s your wish. I just came back to give Mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten-bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $4 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for you Dad, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that’s parked outside, plus a membership to the country club and an invitation for you all to spend a fun New Years’ Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera.”
“Now what was it ye said you had become, again?” asked the dad.
The girl, crying again, answered: “A prostitute, Dad!”
“Oh! You scared me half to death, girl! I thought you said a Protestant. Come here and give your old dad a big hug!”
( Jan 1)
Pickled Pete 20 days ago
Two rich kids are caught doing drugs by a cop…
The cop recognizes them and tells them: “Since you have parents in high places, I’m gonna offer you a proposition. In 3 days from now, I want you to find other teens like yourself and convince them to quit drugs.”
3 days have past, and the two come to the officer with their results.
The first kid tells him: “I talked 17 out of drugs.”
The cops asks him: “17!? What did you do?”
So the kid responds: “I showed them a drawing with 2 circles, and I told them ‘The big circle is your brain before drugs, and the small one is after that.’”
And then the other kid’s turn: “I talked 170 out of drugs.”
Amazed, the cop says: “170!?! I thought the other kid was good. What did you do?!”
So he says: “I did the same thing as he did, except I told them ’the small circle is your ASSH0LE before prison, and the big one is after prison.”
( JAN 2 )