Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 14, 2015

At least Rat tried to do something good.

Rat, if you want to help the stupid, go to a self-help seminar.

I’m going to try to get my brain implanted in an 18 year old’s body when I die. About as close as I can get to immortality.

Folks that think their incredibly smart are often folks who aren’t half as smart as they think.

And there are so many people who could use the help. I see them every day.

There was a campy horror movie (rather NSFW) called Head of the Family, featuring a looney evil mastermind with a truly huge head. I bet Rat would have relished getting that part! (Even though the bad brain came to a bad end….)

Rat what about all the brain cells you are killing with the beer ?

Amen

AMEN !!!!!!

I thought he was going to give his Wurlitzer to charity

Can we get back to being funny here? Please? We are not going to solve life’s conundrum . Let’s just have a few laughs and be done with it!

The ancient Egyptians with their embalming and life after death made a point of saving all the organs in their own separate jars when they turned a dead king into a mummy..Except the brain..They took that out through the nose after slicing it to pieces, then threw it away. They thought its only function was to keep the blood cool.

Momentary weakness on Rat’s part. You can’t help stupid people. They’re too stupid and, if you buy them books, they’ll just chew the covers off and vote Republican anyway. Rat will now go back to the natural order in which stupid people are fun to play with and lucrative to defraud. It’s a blessing that there are so many of them. They earn so little that you have to rip off a whole bunch of them to make anything. .I really don’t see Rat as an organ donor anyway. Not without payment up front.

They don’t take infected parts; Rat’s brain especially.

I am immortal. Well, until the Quickening, that is.

Reminds me of Abby Normal. But they do use parts of the brain for tissue donation.

Ive never seen such a selfish reason to do something selfless

this is why I’m not a donor – because they don’t take the brain, and my gigantic brain and great wisdom should live forever.

Also, they don’t transplant the humility, and I’m very humble.

That was the kindest thing that rat did in all of pearls! But seriously, that rat is EVIL!

Just don’t donate your liver