Agnes by Tony Cochran for August 07, 2015

I can envision the vitreous fluid oozing downward.

I’m a chiropractor and I get patients like this and they wonder why I can’t fix them in one visit. I remember a farmer I had treated on a Friday. The following Monday he came in with his wife. She says,“What did you do to him? He’s worse.” As I’m working on him I notice a big red rectangular mark on his back. I said, “What’s this red mark?” He said he had his tractor up on jacks with the engine running while he worked on a bush hog. The tractor had fallen off the jacks and run him over. Yeah, what did I do to him?

At least she lived!

Did you really expect your big toe to be polite, Agnes? They’re kinda vulgar by nature. But with luck maybe you won’t need a new hip.

Trout is right.

Oh! I haven’t heard ther term “stove” used in decades! Not since we moved to California! Good memories! Agnes….why not take up binge watching tv shows?

“I’m a chiropractor and I get patients like this and they wonder why I can’t fix them in one visit.” My Chicago naprapath was usually able to fix my back in one visit.

“A Vulgar Litany of Pain” is the name of my new rock band.