Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for October 19, 2015

What’s so difficult about opening a bag of chips? I can see opening a jar of pickles being difficult but not a plastic bag of chips.

That chip bag is fake, it has more chips than air!

What do you do when the scissors you just bought are in that rigid clamshell plastic that sneers at something so puny as scissors?

There used to be a local brand of potato chips that filled the bag with nitrogen to prevent the chips from oxidizing.

What do you do when you can’t open the plastic container? Box cutter comes to mind, hunting knife, tin snips if they are extra sharp, blow torch seems to work, etc….

This wastes a lot of chips.

Many plastic bags have little cuts in the top which can be pulled in a shearing motion and will open right up.

There was a brand of snacks that couldn’t be opened without the snack flying out. The president of the company was on the Tonight Show. Johnny Carson casually handed him a bag of the snack. The president of the company opened the bag and the snack went flying. Johnny Carson asked, “Say, what’s up with that anyway?” It seems as if the guy immediately called up a vice president and said, “Did you see that? Fix it.”Does anyone remember?

Granny Goose never had a problem and he was on a horse!

Opening chip bags can be very easy. Just drive to your house at 8800 feet elevation. The bag opens itself.

I leave chips out for a few days in high humidity! I can chew them in bed and not wake up my bride…