Coming Soon š At the beginning of April, youāll be
introduced to a brand-new GoComics! See more information here. Subscribers, check your
email for more details.
Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for February 09, 2016
February 08, 2016
February 10, 2016
Transcript:
Man: Hey, it works for me, but maybe you need to spell it out some more for all the jerks down here.
Tombstone: The ONE Commandment DON'T BE A JERK
Caption: Dumbing-up
Ann,the author requested not to have a comment section, because, among other things, the comments got weird, calling him the perfect master and saying stupid stuffā¦.And the comment section had so many comments, it started getting ridiculous
Wiley just topped George Carline, who got it down to two.I ā Always be honest and faithful to the source of thy nookieII ā Try real hard not to kill someone (unless he prays to a different invisible man than you do)
The 1st 4 are all variations on the theme āyou schmucks gotta suck up to meā-Only in one interpretation.In those days, there were two classed of people. There were the people, and there were those who were lords over them.Having a separate set of rules for the Lords is still observed today, and they are fewer and much different from those applying to the people.Whenās the last time you left a girl in your car to drown while you went home to sleep it off, or traded in state secrets on your private email server and didnāt go to prison for the remainder of your days?
Here in Oklahoma, the commandments are referred to as historical, not religious. Thatās the reason politicians and a lot of Okies want to display them on state property.
The problem is that the ājerksā are rarely willing to own up to being jerks. Deep down you know youāre a jerk so if you wanna be a jerk, be a jerk. Donāt get all whiny because someone calls you out for being a jerk. Show some courage in your convictions.
As for Teddy, read The Bridge at Chappaquiddick if you can still find it. It gives a much more plausible explanation of that night, especially when one considers his bad back and the tides in that area.āDonāt forget Ollie (I got off on a technicality) North, and the āsaintedā Ronnie, who DID trade arms for hostages, and sent them to the Sandinistas. A lot more damaging than sending emails that WERE NOT CLASSIFIED AT THE TIME OF THEIR SENDING!
Well, letās seeā¦Jerk: Tripping someone for amusement.Big Jerk: Embarrassing someone for a minor incident that didnāt hurt anyone or anything. Huge Jerk: Consuming someoneās food or drink when theyāre not looking.Super Jerk: Having someone give up their need to benefit anotherās own unnecessary desire.Unbelievable Jerk: Belittling someone for life-changing misfortuneColossal Jerk: Generalizing a population and leading action against said population despite circumstances or evidence to the contraryF***ing Jerk: Ruining multiple lives for oneās own benefit without remorse.-Your interpretations are your own.
The Ten Commandments? Obsolete, my friendOn me (your anti-conscience) please depend
Instead of one god only, have a fewIf you get lucky some might follow YOU
And honoring thy parents makes no senseUnless you move back to their residence
And never take the good Lordās name in vainUnless, of course, youāre hacked off or in pain
And Sabbath-honoring? So yesterdayIn these enlightened times sin every day
And donāt create an evil graven imageUnless thereby you do your rivals damage
Bear no false witness against friend or neighborUnless, of course, it lessens your own labor
And stealing in this modern day and age?Both Wall and Main Street think itās all the rage
Adultery can be a lovely gamePreventing sex from being āsame olā same olā sameā
And coveting thy neighborās wife and assCan be a treat, but only if the lassBe well and truly formed, so hereās my rule:Where wife is lacking, covet only mule
The 10 Commandments can be summed up in one sentence.
āDonāt take other peopleās stuff.ā
Donāt take what belongs to God: Godhood, Holiness and Obedience.Donāt take what belongs to your parents: Honor and Respect.Donāt take what belongs to other people: Lives, Spouses, Animals, and other belongings.
Slavery didnāt even start out as a Race Issue.The Greeks & Romans would happily enslave Anyone.Later on, the English actually began with the Irish as a source of slaves for their plantations in the ānew Worldā.They didnāt begin making the Long, Expensive trip to Africa for slave until the number of Easily Caught Irish people began to drop off which cut into the Profits from their little āBusinessā..Plus, there were some scandals where the slavers grabbed up some people who Werenāt Irish and actually had Friends and/or Relatives in a position to raise a huge stink about it.
in.amongst about 9 years ago
Now i canāt figure out of God or Moses was a liberal ā to use 10 where one would do!
Kali39 about 9 years ago
And anyway, itās too easy to break this one.
Bilan about 9 years ago
Reminds me of the old joke ā¦I see stupid people. Theyāre everywhere.They donāt even know that theyāre stupid.
Varnes about 9 years ago
Ann,the author requested not to have a comment section, because, among other things, the comments got weird, calling him the perfect master and saying stupid stuffā¦.And the comment section had so many comments, it started getting ridiculous
Hugh B. Hayve about 9 years ago
Iāll bet the bible was a pretty decent little book of moral stories before the political revisionists got a hold of it.
hitman4cookies about 9 years ago
Wiley just topped George Carline, who got it down to two.I ā Always be honest and faithful to the source of thy nookieII ā Try real hard not to kill someone (unless he prays to a different invisible man than you do)
Brass Orchid Premium Member about 9 years ago
The 1st 4 are all variations on the theme āyou schmucks gotta suck up to meā-Only in one interpretation.In those days, there were two classed of people. There were the people, and there were those who were lords over them.Having a separate set of rules for the Lords is still observed today, and they are fewer and much different from those applying to the people.Whenās the last time you left a girl in your car to drown while you went home to sleep it off, or traded in state secrets on your private email server and didnāt go to prison for the remainder of your days?
djhaisell Premium Member about 9 years ago
āLove one another as I have loved you.ā
tripwire45 about 9 years ago
Actually I think the 613 commandments observant Jews believe are contained in the Torah explained to the ancient Israelites how not to be a jerk.
LadyJessica about 9 years ago
Can we keep it positive and make the commandment āBe niceā?
SkyFisher about 9 years ago
I canāt believe no one has said this yet:
The Greatest Commandment is this: Love the LORD Your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.
And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.
All of the rest of the Bible is summed up in these two commandments.
e.groves about 9 years ago
Here in Oklahoma, the commandments are referred to as historical, not religious. Thatās the reason politicians and a lot of Okies want to display them on state property.
km352 Premium Member about 9 years ago
The problem is that the ājerksā are rarely willing to own up to being jerks. Deep down you know youāre a jerk so if you wanna be a jerk, be a jerk. Donāt get all whiny because someone calls you out for being a jerk. Show some courage in your convictions.
sarah413 Premium Member about 9 years ago
Behold these 15 (drops a tablet), 10 Commandments. Walks away grumbling.
morningglory73 Premium Member about 9 years ago
Give that one commandment to Trump.
edward thomas about 9 years ago
As for Teddy, read The Bridge at Chappaquiddick if you can still find it. It gives a much more plausible explanation of that night, especially when one considers his bad back and the tides in that area.āDonāt forget Ollie (I got off on a technicality) North, and the āsaintedā Ronnie, who DID trade arms for hostages, and sent them to the Sandinistas. A lot more damaging than sending emails that WERE NOT CLASSIFIED AT THE TIME OF THEIR SENDING!
Habogee about 9 years ago
Try the āComfy Couch of Confusionāsite.
yimhere about 9 years ago
Itās not polite to pointā¦ā¦
dabugger about 9 years ago
Well, whatever myth you have to believe; or ignore. But ādumpupā or else. . .
jahoody about 9 years ago
I prefer the British term āpillockā to ājerkāā¦..you can really spit it outā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
KEA about 9 years ago
not to mention the ones in Catholic churces
Say What? Premium Member about 9 years ago
Well, letās seeā¦Jerk: Tripping someone for amusement.Big Jerk: Embarrassing someone for a minor incident that didnāt hurt anyone or anything. Huge Jerk: Consuming someoneās food or drink when theyāre not looking.Super Jerk: Having someone give up their need to benefit anotherās own unnecessary desire.Unbelievable Jerk: Belittling someone for life-changing misfortuneColossal Jerk: Generalizing a population and leading action against said population despite circumstances or evidence to the contraryF***ing Jerk: Ruining multiple lives for oneās own benefit without remorse.-Your interpretations are your own.
Ginny Premium Member about 9 years ago
Actually, 10 is not really enough ā¦
Seed_drill about 9 years ago
I bring you these 15 (crash) 10 Commandments.
Godfreydaniel about 9 years ago
The Ten Commandments? Obsolete, my friendOn me (your anti-conscience) please depend
Instead of one god only, have a fewIf you get lucky some might follow YOU
And honoring thy parents makes no senseUnless you move back to their residence
And never take the good Lordās name in vainUnless, of course, youāre hacked off or in pain
And Sabbath-honoring? So yesterdayIn these enlightened times sin every day
And donāt create an evil graven imageUnless thereby you do your rivals damage
Bear no false witness against friend or neighborUnless, of course, it lessens your own labor
And stealing in this modern day and age?Both Wall and Main Street think itās all the rage
Adultery can be a lovely gamePreventing sex from being āsame olā same olā sameā
And coveting thy neighborās wife and assCan be a treat, but only if the lassBe well and truly formed, so hereās my rule:Where wife is lacking, covet only mule
Concerning killing, causing rigor mortisOnly R.J. Reynolds ever rivals Phillip Morris
Dr_Zinj about 9 years ago
The 10 Commandments can be summed up in one sentence.
āDonāt take other peopleās stuff.ā
Donāt take what belongs to God: Godhood, Holiness and Obedience.Donāt take what belongs to your parents: Honor and Respect.Donāt take what belongs to other people: Lives, Spouses, Animals, and other belongings.
pcolli about 9 years ago
My one commandment: Do anything you want to, as long as you donāt inconvenience of harm anyone else.
Eric S about 9 years ago
This oneās directed specifically at YOU, Wil Wheaton! Mr Hypocrite!
Thomas & Tifffany Connolly about 9 years ago
Still incomprehensible.
JP Steve Premium Member about 9 years ago
Todayās themes complement each other rather well ā Brooke McEldowney shut down the comments on his strips because too many jerks were commenting!
Shimmery Mermaid about 9 years ago
*Hug*z Wiley Miller*Hi5*z Wiley Miller
tired-one about 9 years ago
Either somebody who deleted her post or got banned, I supposeLove the strip, Wiley, and many of the comments.
davids.comments about 9 years ago
Seems more like a mission/vision statement than an actual rule.
Meh~tdology, fka Pepelaputr about 9 years ago
So, it went from a simple Atheist Commandment to a set easily circumvented for Religious, Political, or Monetary reasons?
Kali39 about 9 years ago
And speaking of stupid jerks, we have the great John Cleese (who isnāt one but he played the greatest): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvVPdyYeaQU
SuperAndy Premium Member about 9 years ago
http://www.gocomics.com/wrong-hands/2015/09/24
Meh~tdology, fka Pepelaputr about 9 years ago
@Reynard61āLiberal translation distortionsā¦?Pfffttttt!(Right click to open in a new tab.)
Tarredandfeathered about 9 years ago
Slavery didnāt even start out as a Race Issue.The Greeks & Romans would happily enslave Anyone.Later on, the English actually began with the Irish as a source of slaves for their plantations in the ānew Worldā.They didnāt begin making the Long, Expensive trip to Africa for slave until the number of Easily Caught Irish people began to drop off which cut into the Profits from their little āBusinessā..Plus, there were some scandals where the slavers grabbed up some people who Werenāt Irish and actually had Friends and/or Relatives in a position to raise a huge stink about it.