Close to Home by John McPherson for February 16, 2016

Give it back to him…one bullet at a time.

Today’s edition of Dumb Crook News.

“I had a note around here somewhere…”

Soon after Andy let him go, Barney took up a life of crime.

Don’t make fun of dyslexics!

Nah nah, you guys are doing great. Teller, you put you hands down, and crook, you put your hands up… until the cops come.

I had a guy once robbed a local store. There was a customer already in line, so he picked up an item and got out a $20 bill like he was waiting to pay. When the customer left, he put down the twenty and said, “This is a robbery. Give me all your money.” The clerk had just made a drop, so all the guy got was seven dollars. And he ran out without his twenty. So he paid $13 to rob the store. Detectives in the next town looked at the video and said, “Yeah, we know him. That’s Bobby. He’s not too bright.”

Doing it’s best to be the worst!

There’s a reason some tools are in the back of the shed.Unless you live in a high crime area, then they’re in front.

Still remember the guy here in PA a few years who passed a note saying “I have a gum”.