Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for February 18, 2016

Dean is voice activated.

It must be true love.

She just needs a loooong stick

Is that Dean’s understudy looking on?

He’s been feeling distant lately.

I was going to make some stupid cracks about the view from her end…but it’s really his end, anyway…And besides, joking about his wide screen is rude…. and probably not remotely funny.

If she has channel 405 on her line-up, she must have one of those expensive cable or dish plans with all the extra channels….

Which usually means one of those complicated remotes, with input selectors, On Demand, and a built-in program guide…..maybe a DVR on the same remote…not to mention volume and regular channel selector buttons.

Some people would rather (or even have to ) get up and switch channels on the TV itself, instead of trying to manipulate that scary device.Good luck…. even my mid-1980’s TV and early 90’s VCR were made with no channel selector buttons on them…by then, everything was already done with the remotes.

My mom would knock on the wall then yell “one of you boys come change the channel”. Then came the corded remote.

From yesterday…. Bri…. Bev asked but I’ll try again…were you banned?Also…. Shika, Bev… whoever…One last attempt:And Shika, I know you were probably joking…but it amazes me how many people ask for real.The minute the new day’s comics.are uploaded to this site, or you make a comment or post a picture in the forum…it’s there on the internet for all to see.There is no way to make it be visible in one time zone and stay invisible in another until later.

If you call me on the phone from the East Coast or from Paris…we’re talking simultaneously…no matter what it says on our watches.Same with the comics turn…they put them up at midnight their time…you see them right then …. at whatever time it is right then where you are. The end.

I’ve got a new SmartTV. Whenever I need to program it, I have to ask my 5 year-old grandson to do it !

Well I am finally back.Been in Austin last week for our biannual training extravaganza……singing and dancing and much mayhem.I got the flu on Monday. That nasty coughing kind that would ball me up into a quivering bowl of nasty thick lung crap.It was much fun slinging a car through the serpentine course at 70 miles per hour while coughing so hard I was nearly blacking out. Have the time I sounded like I was purring I had so much junk in my lungs.Firearms training was not much better except I seemed to do better standing than sitting down.Motels are really fun places when you are sick…….I did my best to spread my “happiness” with others…….if I am sick you better show me sympathy or my revenge will leave you with cold chills. The flu did that anyway but it sounds like I was in charge.I finally made it home and rested up over the weekend finally getting to my doc for some meds.Now on to the cartoon……405 channels!!! Good deal. I got a whole lot too…….and still like the song goes……“There is nothing on….57 channels and there’s nothing on.”

He just loves it when she is channel surfing. She better hope he doesn’t fall asleep.

Why Dean Chambers became a Humane Remote

Dean Chambers. The DC of the AC/DC set. Direct Control. Then there is RC. Roman Catholic. Nothing remotely funny about that. AC is alternating channels. Dean’s wife Phyllis is the AC of the AC/DC combo.

The clock above is early atomic time set..

No one refreshes either.

Good Night, Ballard Ears.

I usually go back while I am waiting for the turn, i.e. now. And sometimes the turn doesn’t happen.