Pooch Cafe by Paul Gilligan for June 27, 2016

kung-fu squirrel at six o’clock, Carmen

Maybe the stand-in needs Squirrel Girl to stand in for her this time.

OK, Carmen, bend down to tickle the cute squirrel and Peanut will fly over your head and smack into a tree.

DUCK!

Where’s any duck? I see Carmen and a lot of squirrels, but no duck! ;-)

I am thinking that Squirrel Hogan there is making a strategic error of epic proportions taking on the cat lady.

Note to self…If you see a squirrel in a yellow tank top…run!

A collection of cats (more than 2) is called “hoarding” and is a clear sign of a sick mind.

How many does Carmen have? four? yeah, she deserves what’s coming to her.

Could it be that Poncho and Carmen are going to see eye to eye on something?

I’m reminded of an old D&D game I was in. There was, indeed, a fighting ninja squirrel. One of the players was a minotaur fighter who prided himself on being the biggest bad-assiest (in all the ways that might be interpreted) fighter around..Well, the squirrel does a sneak attack and rolls a 20. We were playing with the optional rules of having extra effects on a natural 20 and thus he rolls the percentile dice to find out what happens..And rolls 00..Instant kill..“You hear a tiny squeak of revenge as a squirrel leaps out of the tree and delivers a mighty blow to the bridge of the nose of your minotaur, cracking the bone and sending shards into the brain, killing him.”