Close to Home by John McPherson for August 21, 2016

Back in the 70’s they released a study that claimed that ice water caused cancer.

Laboratory scientists cause cancer.

Life is a carcinogen…

New study reveals that not eating is pretty bad for you too.

Yeah, if you eat too much of everything.

Carrots are the real killers…..anyone that has ever eaten carrots is dead or going to die.

Living life pretty much kills ya, eventually.

So hasn’t much of the civilized world already come to this conclusion?

Sadly, this isn’t a joke.

Are oats, eggs, whatever else they decide, good for you or bad for you – at this time? I lost track of their status right now.

You got THAT right!

The primary cause of death is BIRTH!

We all know that the sun causes cancer, right? No one gets out of here alive!

whats with the cat???

Doc “If you follow this strict healthy diet, stop drinking alcohol or carbonated beverages, and quit smoking you will live ten years longer.” Patient “If I did all that, why on Earth would I want to live ten years longer?”

Saliva causes stomach cancer, but only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.

We’re DOOMED!!! :(