FoxTrot by Bill Amend for November 13, 2016

What does that last adverb mean? I hope it’s a made-up word.

He sort of learned the words. Not quite an “A” but he has an idea what they mean.

English is a made up language. Especially its spelling rules. Like spelling “hed” “head” because you are a typesetter getting paid by the letter.

The teacher taught and the preacher praught. Laughter is one letter away from slaughter.

English is a mongreloid language, bred largely (but not entirely) from old Saxon, Latin, and French. Our spelling also derives from those sources, but not in lockstep, and academics fonder of creating rules than having them simple have stirred the pot. Meanwhile, uniform “phonetic” spelling really isn’t possible, since pronunciation varies regionally. So we have “a” spoken language (actually several) and a written language which are closely connected, but not just two representations of one fixed thing.

mediocrely

He’s got a mouthful of banana, I’m surprised he didn’t throw in a “bigly”

There’s actually a verse in the “Lolly, Lolly, Lolly” song where they mention the exceptions to the “…ly” rule, as I recall.

Maybe he did “Abysmally.”

I’m fed up with adverb proliferation. It is actually exactly painful to watch the millennials on the 6 o’clock news.

I suspect that Peter’s English grade isn’t a ‘A’.

Just remember, “English will gladly steal from any language that will stand still long enough to get its pocket picked.”Unkn

Some people say that English borrows from other languages. It doesn’t really: English mugs other languages in dark alleyways, then goes through their pockets for loose grammar.

I all of his adverbs are misspelled.

All language is relativistical.

Fun fact: the word ‘humongous’ isn’t in the dictionary.

Doesn’t high school do semesters? I thought middle school had quarters