Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for December 05, 2016

…signs, signs, everywhere there’s signs…

Earl should know better than to drop his hat at the breakfast table.

Of course Vivian requires total silence to do the morning crossword puzzle. Then she will require silence from Earl when she gives him his marching orders for the day.

Vivian also employs a stick in case the sign fails.

This is starting to show all the signs of a troubling day.

I’ve seen all kinds of signs…..

signs of rain, signs from above,

signs of human occupation….. even signs of Burma Shave…..

But a sign from Vivian is not my favorite sort of sign….

Meanwhile……

Monkeee!

Mist is looking for you……

“Mist said, about 2 hours ago

Hello, Sheriff MonkeyBlues? This is the Ballard County Library and Fog Horn Testing Facility, we want to report the theft of one of our signs."

(A public service in case it disappears.

Somebody seems to be stealing Mist’s comments.)

And I have a question, too.

Did you sign Vivian’s sign permit?

Or is she not permitted to have outdoor signs?

Cos I see signs of that happening soon.

That’s a noisy hat. I expect Ballard Street hats to be noisy.

I don’t see any hats.

Of course, it wouldn’t do for Vivian to SAY “quiet”. That would undermine her very premise.

Not being one for unnecessary chit chat before I’ve finished my first cup of coffee and perused my emails, I understand Vivian’s desire for peace and quite while she’s solving ( in pen, one would suppose ) the N,Y, Times Crossword.

While her little sign may seem extreme, remember who she’s dealing with. Earl would shout down a hurricane .

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Regarding the missing sign from Ballard Public Library and Fog Horn Testing Facility, I know where it disappeared to.

Fiona Fireacre, 7th Grade teacher at Ballard Middle School, Detention Center, & Juvenile Jungle, has laryngitis.

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She “borrowed” the SILENCE sign, along with one of the portable fog horns for her classes. She is using the horn to get the little miscreants…er… the students, attention so she can display the sign.

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It is working so well that she may not be able to speak in the classroom for quite some time !

Earl tends to clink his spoon against the cup a little too loudly.

Any hat?

I prefer “Shut Up”, but some think that’s rude.

Two of my top operatives. I.Seecum and Sydney “Snoop” Snodgrass reported to me they ‘discovered’ the whereabouts of those missing signs

( or a reasonable facsimile thereof )

Both in Vivian’s possession – or at least, on her property.

..

There’s a Wash Your Hands sign in the bathroom most used by Earl and a Reserved Parking sign, hanging above their one car garage.

( I’m betting Earl parks in the driveway ).

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I’ve turned my investigators’ reports over to Deputy Batpug, since SherifKantYouReedTaSighnsMunkyBluz has been tied up with affairs….that is ,,,ah… he’s busy with …er…official police business.

Vivian’s sign says Quiet,

Because she has Earl on a diet.

Earl says that he’ll die,

If he can’t have some pie,

But Vivian just doesn’t buy it.

Very nice, Farside!

I know I have been busy and not commenting as much, but conversations have SURE DROPPED off since the Powers that be have changed everything. Is it just me feeling this way? I haven’t even checked out the new site, have any of you? What REALLY TICKS ME OFF, I HAVE BEEN A PAYING PRO SINCE 2008 and I sent them an email with questions, and they HAVE YET TO ANSWER ME! THEY HAVE HAD WEEKS NOW TO DO SO!