Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for May 30, 2017

In 1990 United Airlines — before the made dragging customers a part of their policy — ran the following commercial:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mU2rpcAABbA

Pig’s new name: Runway Twitty.

Don’t worry, Pig. You still have plenty of GoComic followers.

(apparently we have no life)

Wow? People are still using Twitter? How about Facebook? They still do that?

Meet whom? That could have been a bot…

Send them “intimate” pictures of yourself, Pig. That’ll help.

Another reason that I’m SO GLAD that I don’t have a Twitter account, a Facebook account, an Instragram account, Etc…etc…etc…

I like the naked pictures on the Twitter feeds that I follow.

I’ve been on Twitter for 8 years now. I have 5 followers, 3 of which are bots or some other type of non-entity. One of the others is fallow. The last one just followed me when I followed his friend; he’s going to be disappointed if he wants any activity. My Twitter is essentially read-only, once a day. Who can keep up with a constant barrage? (Rhetorical question: the answer is, everyone crossing the street in front of my car).

I don’t understand this business about twitter and facebook and having to share every single thought in a persons’ head or photo he or she takes.

I’ll follow you, Pig. What’s you your Twitter handle?

Pig’s approach might almost make Twitter worthwhile; almost. I do like a bribe!

Apparently, Rat’s an addict. I am not surprised.

I remember reading a story, many years ago, about how Bill Gaines, upon hearing that the only subscriber Mad Magazine had in Puerto Rico or the Virgin Islands, or someplace like that, flew down there with several of the magazine’s artists to convince the subscriber to continue.

I think Pig is in good company.

Good luck with that, Pig!