Chuckle Bros by Brian and Ron Boychuk for March 21, 2022

I would suggest do a hasty retreat. But it maybe already to late.

Back out the door slowly. That looks like one very pissed off cat, and you are standing entirely too close to her bowl.

It was at that moment that he knew he had f’d up.

Who is a good boy?

I once saw the perfect burglar alarm.

A sign in the front yard that said “Rotweiller Pups”.

Then there’s the old story of a sign in window of back door: ‘Beware of Parrot’. Burglar continues inside where a parrot looks him over and squawks ‘Sic him!’

Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: “Jesus is watching you!”

Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. “Jesus is watching you,” the voice boomed again.

The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot.

He asked the parrot: “Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?”

“Yes”, said the parrot.

The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, and asked the parrot: “What’s your name?”

“Clarence,” said the bird.

“That’s a dumb name for a parrot,” sneered the burglar. “What idiot named you Clarence?”

The parrot said, “The same idiot who named the Rottweiler Jesus.”

Ruh-ro!