Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for February 27, 2018

Well, most of the people on that tape take Ambient to sleep at night.

I dread to think what sounds of congress really is.

Just because President Rat tunes them out easily…

Couple of years ago I realized I had about twenty of those CDs and ripped them to MP3 files on my hard drive. Now I can use my computer to go to sleep at night.

The “Train Ride” one is pretty good, as is “Ocean Waves”. I thought “Wind Chimes” would be nice but it keeps me awake.

During meditation, common sense entered Pig’s mind. And they say it wasn’t easy.

At one point on the cd, one could meditate on the sound of one congressman bloviating.

You would not enjoy the inside of a sausage factory either. For multiple reasons.

They are all out of order.

It’s the wrong kind of “congress,” Pig. Ask him for the CD he’s got hidden under his mattress.

Why isn’t pig listening to Steppenwolf? He would love “Magic Carpet Ride”.

Hello Congress my old friend, I’ve come to sneer at you again. You’re such a great example of groupthink, naturally your popularity — sinks while you seek credit for everything under the sun, nothing gets done, except the sounds of Congress

The only sound you can hear in congress is the Ca’CHING of their cash registers filling up from lobbying donations like the NRA.

It’s alright, Pig…I don’t think anyone else enjoys it either.

If the the opposite of pro is con then the opposite of progress is

And the people bowed and prayed

to the money god they made

Of course the CD of “The Sounds of Intimate Congress” is X rated.

Not your usual “seashore surf and birds” pablum, ehh, Piggy? If you can achieve a transcendent state listening to the sounds of congress, you are a true Zen Master! “Enjoyment” is irrelevant….

Pig should have listened to his Sounds of Silence CD. Nothing worth hearing.

Pig should have listened to his Sounds of Silence CD. Nothing worth hearing.

Ya call that ambient?!