Daddy's Home by Tony Rubino and Gary Markstein for March 12, 2018

Tony claimed and asked, about 9 hours ago

There’s a new one EVERY DAY (and they ask me why I drink)

What haven’t you said?

a) No. Neither a Question of the Day (most times, but not every day – and shouting doesn’t change that) nor (especially) a new strip of Daddy’s Home. Or is that the booze talking?

b) The above.

What haven’t I said? As much as I talk, not much.

I don’t remember saying any of those. Of course my mind isn’t what it used to be. Coulda said them 10 minutes ago.

Plenty.

…and now imagine his wife in his place and him in Elliot’s – not much difference.

Reminded me of when I worked for Busch Gardens Zoo Dept. Just when you thought you had seen every which way the parrots could screw up a show; they came up with a new one.

If I tell you, then I’ve said it.

I’ve said everything I have to say. But I have to admit I’ve never said anything about flammable underwear.