Close to Home by John McPherson for December 16, 2010

The heartbreak of the “blort”.

Correction, in all due respect to Erma Bombeck, the grass is always greener over the drainfield. However, in 32 years I have never experienced the dreaded “blort”. Thank the Lord for small blessings.

It’s a flusher!

^nice one!

Except that sadly we may in the process of having our own “blurt.”

cdedward, is a “blurt” worse or better than a “blort?”

Yikes, thank goodness for city sewers!!!

I can sympathize with this guy. My past history includes nightmarish experiences with septic systems.

@fredbuhl - I have to agree. The drainfield was a lovely green, but we could never get grass to grow over the septic tank.

Yes aren’t they fun when everything, and I mean everything backs up iinto the bathtub:-P

bathtub: floor-flood warning device. oh: dont find out the hard way, damage caused by runaway toilet contents is covered only by Flood insurance. your homeowners policy has to have a flood rider, or you have to buy it seperate from the fed. ¨…does not cover water leakage penetrating down, flowing through, or rising into any portion of the insured´s structure.¨ youre in goooood hands.

I don’t have to worry about that because I don’t have a septic tank.

Erma Sue Jean-Ray, how many times have I told you not to put feminine hygiene products down the toilet!

There goes the property value.

Flush a little yeast every few months & the furry things in the back of the fridge. My septic hasn’t needed pumping since the early ’70s.

Honey … call Jethro and Ellie May …we’re moving to Beverly Hills! Uncle Jed just hit oil! Oh, sorry, never mind, it’s not oil … . ..

seen on a septic service truck; satisfaction guaranteed, or your product cheerfully refunded

I think he’s taken all the ( fill in the blank) he can take.