Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for September 18, 2018

Be careful Allen, or you will have lillies on your chest!

The ones that get watered.

That would get extremely annoying, and soon too.

The one with the fewest wins.

Oh yes, Allen, that makes you a winner tonight. Grace, on the other hand, is quietly sporting her “Ballard Brooch and Bracelet” combo, that allows her to consider Allen’s remarks to be unworthy of notice.

These are now power plants and who wants to be too close to them.

Yes… not only is Grace wearing THREE pieces of jewelry, not even counting her wedding ring and a watch…

but Buster only comes when she calls him,

she knows 27 words of French, to your 4….

and she outweighs you by 20 pounds.

Plus…. the remote is under her seat cushion…..

and…. last but in no way least…. she’s the only one in the house who knows how to make dinner.

Give up.

“And I’m going to whack you around the head with this picture.”

But WHO put those three plants there? Eh? Eh?

He’d better watch it or he’s going to be wearing her plant as a hat.

You’re right Vet. Allen, if he’s not careful, will very shortly have 4 plants near him. He could be picking petals out of his proboscis for a week. It all depends of the state of Grace !

Don’t you just hate “uppers”.. Sorry Allen.. but it’s pet peeve of mine.. I have a sister-in-law that is like that.. always upping every story.. purchase.. experience.

“Yeah? Well I have the number ‘5’ written on my face, while you clearly have only an ‘0’…”

If you took different silverware than two others you heard, “Oddball! Oddball!” It was fourth grade.

Grace’s body language suggests that if Allen is in fact winning, his victory will be short-lived.

Still missing you, Sheriff.

Topper from “Dilbert” in retirement.