Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for September 17, 2018

Hey, I see rabbit punch at the banquet table. Yea, my punch runt it over. Is that half full, or half empty on the floor? My lucky foot is stuck to my bellybutton! Are you multi asking? I have two bellybuttons, one from a colon operation. Boy, is it getting need deep, Johnny Depp.

BUNNY! sniffs at the piffle.

Garçon, another plate of platitudes, si vous plait!

And another round of Laconic brand Absinthe!

Yeah, but he has opposing thumbs ….

I’m resistant to piffle because of my long focal length.

My piffle is only mindless on Mondays.

Why exactly is he doing to that poor bunny? There better not be a poison dart in that thing.

Solar Powered Death Ray.

Ah yes, the land of Laconia: where polysyllabic words are frowned upon and run-on sentences strictly against the law.

Proper fitting trousers. Listen to him.

She said piffle.

Bunny!

Bunnies only converse on the most enlightened and progressive of subjects in conversation.

Or salads. Everybunny likes a good salad Haiku.

Poof Poof Piffles . . .

Why isn’t my bunny mortar working?

I’m STILL waiting.

It was probably ten minutes later that Kelly wandered over with a tray holding a bottle and two glasses. I thought the tray was too much, but a person can run their own establishment however they like. The glasses were clean and the bottle was dusty, just the way I like it. She sat down, poured, and slid a glass over to me. “I guess we need to talk,” she said. “While we can,” I replied. “You talk. I’ll drink.” So, she did. It seemed to her that Flipper was settling old scores and cleaning up his back yard. Nobody knew exactly what happened, but everybody suspected it was The Shadow, Flipper’s little brother. Nobody ever saw the guy, but every missing person Flipper didn’t want found was attributed to him. There were maybe four people who had ever seen him. That’s why they called him The Shadow. Flipper got his name from a head wound when he was twenty-two. It left a dent in his prematurely bald skull, right in the middle and slightly forward. It looked like a blow hole on a porpoise. He like Flipper for a nickname. The other thing he looked like was something you didn’t mention twice, even though the obvious nickname it suggested was much more appropriate.

Here we are. Hip, hop. Hip, hop. Hip, hop. Hip, hop. Are you a bunny, honey? Bunny Honey! Well, now, how’s the bunny? Bunny funny! Bunny funny, good for bunny. Come on, George! Honey, funny bunny..

Ever had a good styfado? A big-mouth bunny and little pearl onions, seasonings, sauce….

On the other hand here, the Big Dumb Bunny speaking into the telescope is a candidate for Long Pig on a spit, slow-turned and basted.

Cooking is so complicated, especially for a Lame Chef….

Good things come to those who wait. He who hesitates is lost. Haste makes waste. The early bird gets the worm. Look before you leap. No guts, no glory. No wonder I’m so confused.