A vaseline salesman was going door to door doing a survey about how people use their product. Responses ranged from moisturizing skin to greasing squeaky hinges. Coming to one house, he asked the couple about their use, and they said that they use it in their love life. Slightly embarrassed at their blatant response, he could only say, “is that so?” “Oh yes, things are wonderful in the bedroom since we started using it.” Curious, he asked if they would mind telling exactly how they made use of it. “Simple,” the husband answered, “we smear it on the doorknob to keep the kids from barging in!”
Santa is far beyond all that. He really doesn’t use a sleigh either. But he does make some personal visits. Something about manipulating the space-time-vug continuum and instant transmat capability.
Dtroutma almost 6 years ago
And then right off the bed.
GreasyOldTam almost 6 years ago
He doesn’t take a shower first?
rekam Premium Member almost 6 years ago
He doesn’t take the suit off?
Breadboard almost 6 years ago
As Harry Potter said “I Love Magic”
SeanT almost 6 years ago
Hey, that’s MY fetish!
WoodstockJack almost 6 years ago
I thought it was SlimFast.
thegamingowl365 almost 6 years ago
(Insert facepalm emoji)
WCraft Premium Member almost 6 years ago
Careful…
Perkycat almost 6 years ago
None of us needed to know that. Those Russian internet news-bots have quite an imagination.
Holden Awn almost 6 years ago
The good news is no more lube is needed at that point.
Ermine Notyours almost 6 years ago
Last night, Modern Family used something like Vaseline to get Santa out of the chimney.
Al Nala almost 6 years ago
Glad I don’t have to wash those sheets!
webman3802 almost 6 years ago
A vaseline salesman was going door to door doing a survey about how people use their product. Responses ranged from moisturizing skin to greasing squeaky hinges. Coming to one house, he asked the couple about their use, and they said that they use it in their love life. Slightly embarrassed at their blatant response, he could only say, “is that so?” “Oh yes, things are wonderful in the bedroom since we started using it.” Curious, he asked if they would mind telling exactly how they made use of it. “Simple,” the husband answered, “we smear it on the doorknob to keep the kids from barging in!”
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] almost 6 years ago
Santa is far beyond all that. He really doesn’t use a sleigh either. But he does make some personal visits. Something about manipulating the space-time-vug continuum and instant transmat capability.
richdell almost 6 years ago
Santa was trying to slip one over on Mrs. Claus.
AaronMota almost 6 years ago
Dirty, isn’t it?