A vaseline salesman was going door to door doing a survey about how people use their product. Responses ranged from moisturizing skin to greasing squeaky hinges. Coming to one house, he asked the couple about their use, and they said that they use it in their love life. Slightly embarrassed at their blatant response, he could only say, “is that so?” “Oh yes, things are wonderful in the bedroom since we started using it.” Curious, he asked if they would mind telling exactly how they made use of it. “Simple,” the husband answered, “we smear it on the doorknob to keep the kids from barging in!”
Santa is far beyond all that. He really doesn’t use a sleigh either. But he does make some personal visits. Something about manipulating the space-time-vug continuum and instant transmat capability.
Dtroutma about 6 years ago
And then right off the bed.
GreasyOldTam about 6 years ago
He doesn’t take a shower first?
rekam Premium Member about 6 years ago
He doesn’t take the suit off?
Breadboard about 6 years ago
As Harry Potter said “I Love Magic”
SeanT about 6 years ago
Hey, that’s MY fetish!
WoodstockJack about 6 years ago
I thought it was SlimFast.
thegamingowl365 about 6 years ago
(Insert facepalm emoji)
WCraft Premium Member about 6 years ago
Careful…
Perkycat about 6 years ago
None of us needed to know that. Those Russian internet news-bots have quite an imagination.
Holden Awn about 6 years ago
The good news is no more lube is needed at that point.
Ermine Notyours about 6 years ago
Last night, Modern Family used something like Vaseline to get Santa out of the chimney.
Al Nala about 6 years ago
Glad I don’t have to wash those sheets!
webman3802 about 6 years ago
A vaseline salesman was going door to door doing a survey about how people use their product. Responses ranged from moisturizing skin to greasing squeaky hinges. Coming to one house, he asked the couple about their use, and they said that they use it in their love life. Slightly embarrassed at their blatant response, he could only say, “is that so?” “Oh yes, things are wonderful in the bedroom since we started using it.” Curious, he asked if they would mind telling exactly how they made use of it. “Simple,” the husband answered, “we smear it on the doorknob to keep the kids from barging in!”
Night-Gaunt49[Bozo is Boffo] about 6 years ago
Santa is far beyond all that. He really doesn’t use a sleigh either. But he does make some personal visits. Something about manipulating the space-time-vug continuum and instant transmat capability.
richdell about 6 years ago
Santa was trying to slip one over on Mrs. Claus.
AaronMota about 6 years ago
Dirty, isn’t it?