The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 07, 2019

“Impressive. You should have seen me work in the war.”

Obituary writing is a dying art.

Thank you, but I can’t take all of the credit…

Don’t forget the five years he spent at USPS in the dead letter office…

I do, however, have a few questions about your references.

Perfect for the newspaper’s morgue!

The editor was just dying to fill the position.

Unfortunately for the editor, he isn’t he isn’t here for a job.

AND I HAVE SEVERAL LENGTHY LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION HERE FROM TERRY PRATCHETT.

I bet in a week Death takes a holiday.

Dead on!

He’ll have a hard time confirming these references!

He’s good with deadlines, too.

Would that be the Samarkand Daily Tribune?

He really should hire him. The consequences otherwise could be fatal.

I do preemptive obits.

If he was an engineer, they’d be called ‘tombstones.’

Phone buttons only useful to cartoon characters. Base octal?

Considering the current state of the newspaper business, this might be a bad decision.

Try the dead letter office.

He took a job with the Dallas Morning News.

He’ll knock ’em dead!