The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for January 16, 2019

I think there re too mny vowels nywy.

Yes, he fails, but, he is landowner because he has a farm.

’ay, you!!!

We’ve all learn about the vowels this way in school: A, E, I, O, U (and sometimes Y).

But they are enough to spell “money” in the hamburger business.

Wasn’t that a password Catherine Willows tried to use to get into a party to interview witnesses in an episode of CSI? My memory of that episode is kinda… fuzzy.

As do way too many on Twitter. There basic grasp of there, their and they’re is abysmal as is your and you’re. It’s enough to make someone else forget how to use those words properly.

Well, his friend, Farmer Brownie, has a dog B-i-n-g-o!

Wow! That teacher looks like a healthy farm girl.

Vanna White in retirement?

Looks like my letters on Words With Friends – just add a couple of u’s. They actually came up one time as e-i-e-i-o and two other letters.

Nice – funniest one of the day!

Something smells vowel here.

Tarzan did no better.

He’s milkin ’ it.

3 of the vowels are already words:

A: indefinite article

I: 1st-person singular pronoun

O: expression of surprise or admiration (O wow!); indicator of person being addressed (“O Lord”)

Here’s where I advocate roles for the remaining 2:

E: 3rd-person singular human pronoun, for those situations where you’re dealing with a human being (not an animal or object) but “he” and “she” are either inaccurate or imprecise and “he or she” is awkward

U: 2nd-person singular pronoun, replacement for “you”. (I also advocate “yall” as a replacement for the 2nd-person plural pronoun.)

The rise of texting as a major form of communication should make these adaptations lots easier.

If I were in that class, after she tells us all the vowels, I’d ask her about the schwa.

As long as he avoids having a massive vowel movement …

I’ll see myself out now.