New Adventures of Queen Victoria by Pab Sungenis for January 14, 2019

That was Velveeta that was banned.

Death to Pretend Cheese™

Yes, the U.N. raised a stink when it cut the cheese.

Not even the National Cheese Emporium would stock it…

I think Her Maj is thinking of Stinking Bishop. Veddy British.

How odd! Is there any specific Brit cheese of note?

“American Cheese” is an oxymoron!

Make midwest middle class sandwiches for the entire cast and all readers – baloney and American on white bread with Miracle Whip (and tomato if you’re fancy).

…

Have you got any Limberger?

Wensleydale No.

Mousebender No, that figures. It was pretty predictable, really. It was an act of purest optimism to pose the question in the first place. Tell me something, do you have any cheese at all?

Wensleydale Yes, sir.

Mousebender Now I’m going to ask you that question once more, and if you say ‘no’ I’m going to shoot you through the head. Now, do you have any cheese at all?

Wensleydale Yes, sir, I have some American Cheese.

[BLAM!]

Stay away from the Velveeta Fog !