FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for April 13, 2019

SIX BLOCKS AWAY!!! YOU ARE CRAZY!!!!!

did Peter forget for a second that Denise is blind?

Some people should never be given a driver’s license.

Most people driving are Kamikazes. They are too busy on their phones to notice what they are doing while driving. I love the ones in front of me that cut across 4 lanes to get to an exit about 100 yards before the exit. If states would enforce speed limits they could all easily balance their budgets to overflowing.

Miss Denise in the current strip…

If 6 blocks is 0.2 miles and the light stays yellow for 5 seconds, he would have to go 720 miles per hour to make the light.

Who is Denise and where did she come from?

One fellow claimed that the speed of his travel caused the red light to be blueshifted to green, as per Einstein. The judge offered him a fine of $1 per mile per hour over the speed limit. The sum was so astronomical that he pleaded guilty.

A long unanswered-question in the Trotverse is how in the world do Little Miss Sensible Andy and Ultra Boring Roger have a car that has even the tiniest shred of performance? The car should be the vehicular equivalent of beetloaf.

Peter, you are too bad of a driver.

Must be in North Carolina!

My mom made sure I could drive before I ever went for my test – she made me do things like stop and start on a hill (going up) without rolling backwards. Believe me, when you can do that driving a manual, you have REALLY learned how to handle a clutch! She also taught me to parallel park and drive backwards thru a sort of obstacle course she devised. By the time I passed HER test, I knew that State test would be a breeze! And my driving test was a joke – I think part of it was because I showed up to take my test in a boxy VW camper with manual transmission. The fact that I could start it and back out of the parking spot without killing the engine or gunning it and not moving, proved that I had practiced A LOT. The instructor had me drive out of the DMV testing lot, onto a side road, back into the parking lot about 100 yrds away, and stop. He got out, told me to park and come in and get my license. That was 47 years ago. I have no idea how it would go today.

Yup—I’d be starting my death grip on the armrests of Peter’s car right about now.

Fun visuals in the first three panels, though.