Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for March 30, 2019

Only 9000 years old? Didn’t look a day over 8000.

So the House of Commons member kind of acts as Her Majesty’s bodyguard (or decoy if there were to be a royal kidnapping/assassination?)

Pretty embarrassing to be taken hostage by a 92 year-old queen.

I thought kidnapping was illegal in the UK?

I can just picture a “You can live for 9,000 years” statement in a Geico ad.

I wonder how many volunteer to be the hostage, just to avoid listening to another rambling speech?

As many cars as I’ve wrecked, I would be lucky to make it to 900. (He died so young.)

“Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she doesn’t have a lot to say”.

Not a House of Lords member?

And that’s where farts came from.

But strawberries are so much harder to peel than oranges!

I guess I’ve always felt like an accident waiting to happen…

If you live 9,000 years, you would only need $12,487,363 in your 401(k) to receive $100,000 a year plus an increase of 3% per year for inflation for 9,000 years at today’s annuity interest rate. Act now!

Oranges stay fresh longer than strawberries. Strawberries are truly seasonal. I hate the preserved type.

I think only a single hostage from Labour is running a huge risk. Not that I’d trust the House of Lords all that much either. Or the judiciary. Come to think of it, they’re a lot like us!

If we did that in Washington, DC, it would make the State of the Union address much more interesting.

“ONLY 9,000 years?” Sign me up; I’m ready and willing…

Imagine the horror of being held hostage in Buckingham Palace. Tea and crumpets please.