That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for May 13, 2019

“It says right here in this book of marriage that the wife must go to the monster truck show with the husband.”

Please, I beg you. Just because we haven’t seen the Avengers yet, don’t go spoiling it for us.

And THAT’s why they call it “The Blues”.

“Domino’s, Little Caesar’s, or Pizza Hut……..I’ve got all three phone numbers right here!”

“ It says right here. Thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife! Sarah,you don’t have to go…..”

Let me get this straight. He left me the contents of his safe but not the KEY???

Don’t worry, I’ll be right back after I run that annoying D’Artagnan through. I’ll be back in time for dinner. See, Richelieu is not concerned.

“Fernando, see? What did I tell you? You cannot marry a nun; they’re already married to God/Jesus or whatever. Now, come home.. come home, Fernando. I’ll do that thing you really like… come, let’s go home…”

Consulting that zealot in red/ we all feel a tremor of dread/ with maniacal look/ he interprets the Book/ and somebody ends up ..dead.

Is THAT the book you’re going to throw at me?

“HOW many parking tickets has she acquired and HOW much is it going to cost?”" Jesus, Mary, Joseph!!"

It says right here, “repeated striking of the head with a stick” will have that effect.

I don’t know why everyone is so down on jury duty. Yes, it can be inconvenient, but it is one of the most rewarding civic activities I have ever done.

Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

Receiving the Order or The Bride of Christ: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Emanuel_Gottlieb_Leutze_-_Receiving_the_Order.jpg 

has info and links that point to info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

http://www.artcyclopedia.com/artists/leutze_emanuel_gottlieb.html 

https://www.wikiart.org/en/emanuel-gottlieb-leutze 

https://www.the-athenaeum.org/people/detail.php?ID=915 

https://www.wga.hu/bio_m/l/leutze/biograph.html 

http://www.artnet.com/artists/emanuel-gottlieb-leutze/ 

http://www.painting-history.com/artist/leutze_emanuel.htm 

https://collections.lacma.org/node/167949 

https://americanart.si.edu/artist/emanuel-gottlieb-leutze-2897 

https://prabook.com/web/emanuel.leutze/3722253 

https://www.andrews.edu/~wkunze/german/german-american/notable/L/leutze_emanu/leutze-e.html 

all have info, or links that point to more info, about this artist (probably due to 1 very famous painting by him), perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the first URL. So far, 3 works by him have been used here. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2017/10/09?comments=visible 

has the prior work (my comment there one of the artist info URLs).

Again, a larger strip image is shown by clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2200 (May 12, 2019) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

" I don’t care what Rowe v. Wade says! By God, we live in Alabama and those are the only laws we’re following! Right, Cardinal?"

See, it says right here – it’s pronounced FRONKENSTEEN.

I need someone to transcribe this secret scripture onto silver plates and bury it in the Americas somewhere. Afterwards we’ll have no more discussion of multiple wives Johnson.

I’m having the prosecutor review the jury pool. There are only 5 people in the county without jury exemptions.

Sorry that’s the rule. If you don’t tithe 10% you have to give a woman to the church.

“What do you mean, ’Grandmother’s been drafted’?”

The Spanish Inquisition? We weren’t expecting you! :>)

Worst game of hide-n-seek ever.