Brevity by Dan Thompson for July 20, 2019

Someone brought a knife to a shotgun wedding?

At least this way, we know no one’s doing this half-cocked.

A formal wedding is when they paint the shotgun white.

As I said to my brother-in-law, the first time I met him, “Don’t shoot I’ll marry her.”

My daddy was a pistol I’m a son of a gun.

I for one, am shell shocked.

He fell for her lock, stock and barrel.

He knew what to say, but talked too much, he was smooth boar. That was fine with her family, but when he started rifling through her things they made him bite the bullet.

This should be a real bang up wedding…a real cutup!

Bada Bing Bada Bang , leave the gun, take the cannoli….

There’s a couple of hot pistols.

It will be a bang up honey moon.

Too bad this is not normal anymore, a lot of dead beat fathers out there.

Pump action and on target. She’s loaded.

The preacher’s mad enough to cut somebody a new one.

What is happening here? Please stop the puns! :-)

Happiness is a warm gun.

“No, but I heard the report.”