Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for February 16, 2025

He’s a NASA retiree probably

Cut him a break, Dottie, Fritz usually has problems with his rear-end assembly.

/// Despite his wife’s penchant to jeer,

with his tinkering he’ll persevere.

He’d be able to mend

his non-working front-end,

if he’d just get his rear end in gear.

He should be able to pop some “wheelies” with that vehicle’s weight distribution.

I have a few questions for long-time Ballard Street commenters. For many years I’ve read this feature and noted that the humans (and the dogs) usually strongly resembled characters seen in previous cartoons, but they often had different names. My assumption was that this was like a repertory company. Stock characters played whatever part was needed for the daily joke. But now that I have been reading the comments for a while, I’ve noticed that people here seem to know the names of the people and dogs even when they are not divulged in the caption. So here are my questions: Is there an interconnected “Ballard Street universe” with recurring characters who always have the same personalities, spouses, pets, neighbors, hobbies, etc.? Have today’s couple always been Dottie and Fritz, as oldpine52 called them above? Or perhaps the truth is somewhere in between with characters sometimes recurring and sometimes not.

I’ve been reading this for 10 years or ao. Back then we could post pictures and we developed a whole town. The town of Ballard. We had a Men’s store operated by the late Dennis. And a bar named The Tiki. And we posted pictures of Parades and elaborate birthday parties. The Residents often had either our names or we had a list of the people who lived there. The Dogs were named then. Scooter, Rusty, Little Miss Millie High Maintenance for a few. And yes, reoccurring characters had names.

Mechanical problems ever plague Will

His wife, Dottie resists being shrill

That merely walking the dog

Is for her a frustrating slog

And for dog, Scooter it’s hardly a thrill

Dottie, I hope that is the worst of your problems.

The problem with the front-end assembly is that it can only turn left.

Can a walk ever be just a walk?

There was a young fellow called Fritz,

Who made loads of cr@p from old bits.

His wife didn’t mind,

Cos it kept him behind.

When together, he’d get on her tlts.

I like the look of that motor. What’s it plugged in to?

glad to have everyone returning!!

Probably not.

The source of this couple’s dissension/

Is a poorly designed suspension:/

Dare this onlooker mention:

(With some apprehension)/

A professional intervention ?

He has more than front end assembly problems.

I see the problem his forward tracking dingus controls are misaligned.

Good morning Balladeers!

In the absence of shocks and springs/

And a number of other things/

Such as pinion and rack/

He may never get back/

Unless to her skirt hem he clings.

She’s been complaining about his front-end assembly since their marriage.

He invited his blushing bride/

To accompany him on a ride/

She expected a treat/

But there’s only one seat/

Yet she’s able to take it in stride..

an’ Scooter there ain’t none too happy about it either!

A suspension is somewhat complex:/

it produces surprising effects/

Those effects may be scary/

So it’s wise to be wary-/

But it’s certainly simpler than sex

A leftover:/

a wonderful bird is the loon:/

to obscenity simply immune ./

He exudes far more culture/

Than the osprey or vulture/

on ballard there dwelt a mechanic

specializing in conveyances manic

though for all his contriving

he’s had little success driving

guess you could call him a flash in the pan-ic

☺