B.C. by Mastroianni and Hart for October 03, 2019

Say ‘one’ for English.

“All of our representatives are currently busy helping other, more important customers. Please wait, as your call will answered in the disorder it was received. YOU, are caller number 1,013. Your wait time will be approximately 9 hours. You may leave a call back number, and we contact, if we feel like it.”

I usually just hit 0 until I get an actual person.

Is it live or is it Memorex?

Gawd…! The best option would be to jump from that cliff immediately.

When I wanted to tell my ex something, I’d start with that. It encouraged listening.

But here, the DAM MENU NEVER CHANGES.

“Para español, por favor pulse 8” …

Between web sites and phone trees, companies have successfully isolated themselves from their bothersome customers.

Uno anyone?

So why do the choices remain the same?

“HELLO” - “HOLA”

This is one of my pet peeves. SO many companies start their answering machine message with this, and keep it on for years. It’s exasperating.

“Rachel, is that you?”

…& when you finally get thru all the options & press the right number, you get an interminable 30-second loop of tinny “music” with a range of about one octave that sounds like an old 8-track that’s been playing continually since 1975…

Quit the bull and just play the ×€₩&$# music!

I had the opportunity to be on the phone with my televison provider twice this week. My over 10 year old remote needed to be replaced. It took 48 minutes, at least 15 minutes were spent on hold—in silence, or the preson on the other line was doing something in complete silence, before I finally was told I would get a new remote in 2-3 days.

I got the new remote the next day and had trouble programming it to work my TV. So I called customer “service” to have someone come to my house and do it for me. It took 1 hour and 22 minutes, being given a complete run-around, once being sent to a department that couldn’t help me at all, and constantly being told it would cost $100 for the privlege. After constant screaming and being on hold for about half the time I was on the phone, I finally got an appointment at no charge.

Hello – my name is Jason (with a foreign accent)

The “New York Echo” replies with “Shut the *&#+%^!! up!”

I ignore that message, since I first heard it 20 years ago.

Press the exact value of Pi to get to a competent employee that cares.

Just once I would like to set up a speaker system and mess with peoples echos. I mean just once too. Their first Helloooo, would come back as ‘WHAT!’, and then turn off the system and let them figure it out.

How about this for a canned response….“Hello, you’ve reached (name) at (office). If you’ll leave your name and number I’ll call you back at MY earliest convenience.”

Realizes. More than once. I’ve not yet given in to the impulse to call the corporate office(s) and advise them to implement a crash course in phone etiquette.

Uuuuuugh!

Robin Williams, New York Echo: https://youtu.be/fXnO_1CWztM

“Please don’t listen carefully as our menu options are the same as they’ve been for the past year and you can always call back anyway and listen to the instructions you missed the first time.”

I always have questioned the sensibility of that “listen carefully” message.

Getting a false echo here.

Your call is important to us. Please stay on the line while we play this annoying music.

I hate when that happens! (LOL!)

at least he wasn’t put on hold

hahaha! good one!

“we’ve been trying to reach you about the extended warranty on your vehicle…”