FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for February 27, 2020

you’re hopeless, Jason

Do you actually have an eggplant fetish, Andy? Even if you really want to make the whole family vegan (because we all know it’s going to work at last, right?); don’t you know that dozens other tasty vegetables exist? Eggplants in winter can’t be anything but awful and are an offense to the planet!

If you get your mass down to zero, you won’t have the strength to talk loudly enough that people will understand you. You still won’t be able to warn past Jason.

Jason needs all the “help” he can get!

actually I like eggplant and that does sound pretty good

The kid will be dead long before his rest mass approaches anything like zero.

Will someone please call Child Protective Services!!!!

Seriously, Andy? This is the first time you’ve noticed the reaction your kids have to your cooking? Seriously?

Ever notice, the problem with vegetables is that they don’t taste like meat? :)

I’m surprised Jason hasn’t seen the problem here… He wasn’t there to stop himself so that’s proof that he was unsuccessful in his quest to time travel. Now on the other hand, if he were there to stop himself, then that would have been proof that he succeeded. At that point he should pursue relentlessly time travel in order to fulfill what has already happened.

be careful though, if you upset the space-time continuum Paige could disappear and Mom stop cooking

I have heard testimony of an anorexic girl saying she won’t be satisfied until she could get her weight to zero. I know that’s the result of a severe mental issue, but even if you amputated your body and lived on as a brain on artificial life support you would still weigh about 3 pounds. Also har har Andy is a terrible cook.

I just love eggplant.

For all his mathematical and scientific acumen, Jason’s utter lack of common sense and ultimate stupidity is astounding. Hey stupid! If your mass is zero, you are DEAD! You don’t exist!