FoxTrot Classics by Bill Amend for March 24, 2020

arm fatigue… right

Might even be too late for flowers and chocolate.

Write a nice letter of apology. Put it in her locker or mailbox.

Try proclaiming your feelings from the steps of school in front of everyone. And, don’t forget the boom box!

I’m surprised she’s still answering the phone!

Remember, men, movies lie to you for convenience. Making a prolonged effort to apologize might be the right way to go, especially after a prolonged offense.

AND no means no. No matter how many Hallmark movies pretend that it’s “romantic” to ignore a person’s protests, women do actually like to be respected as humans. Because, y’know, they’re humans.

Of course, some women will “protest” while hinting that they want you to continue. Different people are different. So use your best judgment, and listen to reliable advice about that person. If you can’t be sure, honoring the actual request is safest.

I address this specifically to men pursuing women because they are the ones who most often are given the advice to be persistent and “try, try again.” However, this obviously applies to everyone, regardless of gender.

Eileen, if you really would like to punish Jason, casually mention your uncle Ivar.

See and speak to her face-to-face.

Jason, try: “HELLO, EILEEN? IT’S MARCUS.” Maybe she won’t hang up on you so quickly.