Brevity by Dan Thompson for March 18, 2020

He clawed his way out of the minor leagues.

Give him a contract… but be sure to put in the claws about never pitching, even if he tries to shell you on it.

He’s a great hitter in a pinch, gives even the fishiest pitches a battering.

But as a pitcher, he lobs so many easy ones that on his last team they nicknamed him the Lobster.

Also… keep him away from the training table till the other guys eat… every time you let him sea food, he gets shellfish.

Hey… Don’t be crabby.

I know this will net me some boos…

I’m not great at fishing for sports metaphors….

for me to even try is in seine.

He’s always come through in a pinch!

his hobby is reciting t.s. eliot…

Try to butter him up.

Seems the Twins really know how to sign them. Now if they sign a pinch runner will they have to change the team name to the Triplets?

We’ll see how fast he grasps his job

Would have made more sense if he played for the Red Sox, not the Twins.