Wizard of Id Classics by Parker and Hart for May 02, 2020

If you wanta play, you gotta pay.

Put her in the Navy. Helen of Troy had a face that launched a thousand ships. Blanche’s could sink twice that many.

I’m surprised the Wiz never used his stick to make Blanch (and himself) better lookin’. That sure would beat working out. Hey, could I borrow that thing when you’re done?

she’d make a great drill sergeant.

Bet she humps a 80lb. Pac. Combat web, flack jacket and M16 for 20 miles and not break a sweat.

Blanche, angry and carrying a sharp object. Shudders.

Blance doesn’t look all too happy about being drafted. Either you’re equal or you’re not. You can’t demand equality only when it suits you, and then also demand special privilages.

There will be equality when women have to sign up for selective service at 18 like the men.

Be careful what you wish for…

And may God show mercy to our enemies after they meet you!

I always believed, and still do, that every American should be in the military at the age of 18 for two years. After two years of honorable service, whatever public college or trade school they wish to attend should be paid up to the equivalent of 8 semesters of credits (the typical 4 year degree).

If she’s drafted, their enemies are shafted.

Considering that there were no champagne bottles back then, can you imagine what Helen’s face looked like after she launched all those ships…

That’s giving it to her.