The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for June 01, 2020

I love the John Waters film.

Actually, flamingos have plastic suburbanites on their lawns.

Not quite as common these days!

You’ve been Flocked

Just be thankful you didn’t marry into a family of jockeys.

Up here in gnome, we don’t do flamingos.

The front lawn looks flooded.

Wouldn’t flamingos have Plastic pirates (you know – one leg?) on their lawns!

As a charity fundraiser, some groups will put a bunch of plastic flamingos in people’s front yards. People prank each other this way, and it’s called flocking.

Stand proud on both feet boy, like a man, we’re miles from water.

I love flamingos on the lawn.

We need an endangered lawn decorations act.

At least we have a leg up on the neighbors.

A few years ago, for a friend’s birthday, I arranged for his yard to be covered with plastic lawn flamingos. A local company does it (and they even have a “Frequent Flocker” program). Then, a few months later, for the birthday of my longest-time friend, who lives in Florida, I tried to do the same, but the only company in the Orlando area I could track down uses stupid-looking 2-D plywood cartoon flamingos. I passed on that.