Shoe by Gary Brookins and Susie MacNelly for April 15, 2011

I can’t drive slow.

I have to get there before I forget where I’m going.

You don’t often see a cop stopping you for going too slow. I wish they’d do that around here.

Cosmo needs to listen to Sammy Hagar more… ;)

It’s probably unprovable, but I would bet that slow drivers and left lane bandits cause more accidents than alcohol, speed, and cell phone use combined.

Cop pulls a car over for doing 32 in a 55 zone. He finds an old man behind the wheel, with two old ladies in the back who look utterly petrified with terror. He asks the driver to explain why he was going so slow. Driver points to a sign and says, “the speed limit is 32–there’s the sign there.”

The cop looks up, then laughs and explains, “that’s the route number, not the speed limit.”

“Oh,” says the old man. “I’ll be more careful next time.”

The cop looks in the back seat again and asks, “what’s up with the ladies?”

The driver shrugs and says, “I don’t know… maybe it’s ‘cause I just turned off route 119…”

I wonder how long the low speed chase was?

\\//_

“thebird55 said, I can’t drive slow. I have to get there before I forget where I’m going.”

Oh lord that’s funny.

Routes 32 and 119 would put the cop, the old man and the ladies in Richmond, NH.

As Quigley put it, “I don’t know where we’re goin’, but there’s no sense bein’ late. ”

Sandfan, I don’t know about causing more accidents but I sure agree with your idea. Those “safe” drivers may never be in an accident but I’ll bet they cause plenty of them.

sandfan, when I took a driving safety course about eight years ago, they stated that slow drivers caused the greatest number of accidents and fast drivers caused the greatest number of fatal accidents. Can’t tell you if the stats are the same today.

yeah car 54. where are you??

From having read the ‘Comments’ up to this point, it seems a lot of people want to continue to raise hell at every one else’s expense and get away with it.

There’s a holdup in the Bronx, Brooklyn’s broken out in fights, There’s a traffic jam in Harlem that’s backed up to Jackson Heights. There’s a scout troop short a child, Krushev’s still at Idylwild, Car 54 where are you?

Ooooh…..ooooh,ooooh……oooh!!!!!!! That’s Gunther speak for those in the know!!!!

Grog said, “You don’t often see a cop stopping you for going too slow. I wish they’d do that around here.” When I moved to Vegas in ‘98, I was stopped for GOING the speed limit. The officer said, and I quote, “NOBODY drives the speed limit in Vegas!!!”. He said the only people who drive the speed limit were drunks and criminals out casing houses or businesses for their next job. He told me to drive 5 over the limit so I didn’t attract attention. I’ve been doing that for the last 13 years and haven’t had a problem so far, knock on wood (he said knocking on his head),

Yesterday I was following a car in a 35 mph zone, and having to slow myself down. I was doing 15, on my bicycle.

He’s just the average driver in the fast lane of most limited access highways, and refusing to move to the right lane. 90+% of fatal accidents occur on surface streets, UNDER 35mph. Most “freeway” accidents are CAUSED by SLOW drivers, usually in the fast lane, backing up traffic. But yes, following distance is a factor- for Cosmo and too many drivers, they’re too close as soon as they pull out of their driveway.

Good one @algurka…Car 54 theme.

just remember… “The hurrier you go..the behinder you get”..

and..”Speed on brother..Hell ain’t half full !”…

smoothpate around here if they’re doing the speed limit and they see a cop, they’ll slow down to about 10 miles below the limit. As long as I’m only going 5mph over the limit, I do not slow down. However, I’ve almost been caught doing more. What saved me was someone else was driving faster. Normally I will exceed the limit by 5 on roads and 9mph on highways. I’ve never been pulled over for going those speeds over limit.

Where did Cosmo get pulled over? Out on Highway 61?

If the speed limit was infinity, someone would want to go 5 mph over it.

Yep…5 mph over for me! (Wonder if they post speed limits 5 miles under to accommodate us, knowing we’ll be speeding 5 mph over.)

The ultimate speed limit is not infinity, it’s ‘c’. And no, you can’t go 5 mph over that either.

My Dad’s answer was, “Ol Betsy ain’t what she used to be.”

There’s a song title in there somewhere. “Lost at sixty-five (in a thirty-five)”?