Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs for August 17, 2020

Maybe Sailor-Boy Kulp will slip on a left-over banana peel from the breakfast buffet and crush that Chinese counterfeit bauble, That should get those little pygmies pretty po’d! Phony Jewels Don’t Matter!!

And then, Tarzan shrieks with a very high pitched female ape voice which shatters the fake blood ruby made of glass.

“Your sacred stone”? Like it’s their fault the stuped thing is fake.

Jim suddenly loses his confidence in the escape when he looks down and notices Tarzan is wearing only underpants.

A theological crisis ensued when the head Pygmy asked, “are you sure the ball said that? It has this thick accent. It might have demanded their bath.”

The leader of the Pygmy Guard turned to his fellows and said, “Effit, boys. I hear there’s an opening or ten in Munchkin Land.”

He pushed his spear through Forgotten Kulp’s right kidney and the guardsmen departed, never to be seen again this side of the tornado.

They pygmies best plan would be to kill all three of the tall folk and let the blood ruby sort it out in the beyond.

To which the head pygmy replied, “That? Why, that’s just a piece of glass. Didn’t you know that?”.

I’m still having a hard time figuring out Kulp’s plan here.

He gesticulated? Can he do that in public?

This has been a pretty strange story…

The pygmies will capture the big people, and Kulp will come up with some long, complicated method to kill the two men. Then, as he dallies with the queen, they will free her and do him in.

This is Tarzan’s third arrest in Pygmy City. He’s developed quite a rap sheet.

Pygmy leader: “What are you doing with our ruby, Kulp? It doesn’t belong to you! Kill him!”