Free Range by Bill Whitehead for August 13, 2020

Just as I suspected.

Reminds me of the cartoon Gargoyles.

Father O’Brien sure is a kill joy!

Constable Downspout from Discworld.

Two nuns walk into a bar… the third one ducked.

Leisurely Cows and “Car!” – Now, that’s a “Far Side” rip-off.

So, Gargoyles are like the Weeping Angels except have a good sense of humor and mean no harm to anyone.

What a grotesque joke.

Gargoyles are cute when their stoned.

If they’re gargoyles on a church, would they be garjewles on a synagogue?

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says, “I think I’m a typo.”

Lol

Those little devils!

The priest stumbles into the garden…lettuce pray.

A Priest, a Nun, and a Rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says “What, is this some kind of a joke?”

A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

A bar was walked into the passive voice.

An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

A question mark walks into a bar?

A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Get out—we don’t serve your type.”

A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

A synonym strolls into a tavern.

At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar – fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense

A dyslexic walk into a bra.

A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.

A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

A guy walks into a bar and says, “Ouch.”

These grammar jokes are a lot of fun to read, and could be a clever learning tool. I’m saving a copy of them for a couple of teachers that I know.

Ah — these are grotesques. Their mouths are closed (when in standard position), and they don’t double as waterspouts. (Great little article here from the National Cathedral about the difference: https://cathedral.org/quick-facts/gargoyles/