Close to Home by John McPherson for October 18, 2020

Sold!

Ya, but does it cure snoring?

And for only $399 you can get the pheromone upgrade.

So it combats farts with farts … er, fire with fire?

Question is, which one of them did the farting just then? Let’s not assume it was the man, even if it probably was.

I have often wondered why men seem to belch and pass gas so much?

It works like inkjet printers. The initial cost is only an extra $100, but the refills are a little pricey.

Cheap at twice the price.

The $1,699 model only comes with a car air freshener hanging from the headboard.

Does the bed vibrate, too?

worth every penny

Apparently, women never fart.

See today’s Edge City for a future customer.

“I’m sorry folks, it wasn’t you laying on the bed that activated the herbal deodorizers after all. Apparently, I stepped on some kind of yellow bug!”

“I NEED A CLEANUP IN MATTRESSES.”

The mattress appears to be Bleeb approved.

Take a dam shower first.

In my neighborhood herbal means something else.

Another marriage saved! I hope they sell the deodorizer refills in an economy size.

The pillow thinks the guy just farted…

The guy on the mattress resembles Al Bundy.

With a face like hers, why does he want to be within 100 miles of her? But she could say the same.

What if one farts while lighting a cigarette? Does the bed automatically squirt out water?

Does it come in apple cinnamon or cucumber melon?