Agnes by Tony Cochran for October 21, 2020

In her current configuration, Agnes would not be cool standing in a freezer. Nor could she avoid school. But she’d still be fumy — just not cool. Angles are hard to come by.

It worked for Carol Channing, it could work for Agnes.

Trout, you have passed up a golden opportunity for Yuk Panic riot! Especially if only Bob gushed, “Agnes, how’d you get so cool?”!

At least Trout is not going to let Agnes walk out of her house wearing that!

While I wouldn’t mind seeing Agnes in that manner, I don’t think she has a sparkly floppy hat face, rakish or otherwise.

Gosh… I wonder whether it’s too late to return my new hat….

Poor Agnes. She tries so hard but she will never achieve her goal.

Trout need to learns proper English.

Not only are you not cool, Aggie; I couldn’t warm up to you if we were cremated together.

Cool is as Cool does…..

I was never “cool” nor wanted to be. Socially Invisible was good enough.

“Cool” used to mean reserved and self-sufficient. Now you need an angle?

So does everyone who wrote songs for Elton John!