Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for January 30, 2021

Mine was a shower sensor. When I was in business, and on the hook for the phone, it couldn’t ring for hours until I got in the shower.

Nah! You kept waking up during installation, so we had to go with plan B, and put one in every chair in the house.

You must get to the bottom of this, Aunty! :D

And another sensor that tells my cat when I’m about to get up.

Back before searching for news on line, opening a newspaper was the signal to my wife to start talking to me.

Does it cause pain?

I’m convinced you’re schizophrenic. You’re a senior citizen with a schoolgirl daughter and can’t decide whether to speak North American or British English. your marital status seems to change to fit your mood as well. But maybe it’s just me?

Gas powered vibrator.

my sensor calls the cat

Maybe it’s really your hemorrhoids telling you something, Auntie

Her daughter looks just like her! :D

Is it auditory? ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

I have one of those. But it’s the dog needing to go out.

It’s the Whoopie Cushion installed in the Chair.