Speed Bump by Dave Coverly for January 16, 2021

The early bird catches the farm.

They swooped right in.

They’re looking to feather their own nest.

Bunch of vultures.

As the vultures hastened to the prey I remembered. The early bird…and then it escaped me. The secret to life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that you’ve got it made.

You sure they’re not personal injury lawyers?

Another thrasher upside down in his mortgaged home?

Must be Florida.

For sale… one bedroom… No privacy…

I made the mistake yesterday of clicking on houses for sale. I had to fill out a form(no credit card info), I was just curious about prices in my neighborhood. I thought I’d be cool and put down a wrong phone number. 10 SECONDS after I hit the button for info, I got a phone call from a ‘different’ online agency, Zillow! No joke. I had to spend about 15 minutes after saying I was just curious before the agent who called transferred me to an agent who was closer to my location. A location they already knew as well as having my correct phone number! Not the NSA or the CIA, just a real estate company.

Shouldn’t the vultures visit first?

Maybe they’re undertakers?

Why aren’t they carrying their cases with their claws?

Hope the little guys okay…

When my mom passed away in 2004, it was only about two days before total strangers were knocking on the door, saying “I heard that this house might be for sale.” Hoping for a quick bargain. I guess they somehow had a connection at the courthouse, because it happened before the obit ran in the paper. Talk about cold-hearted.

Why do birds invest in real estate? It makes a good nest egg.

So is it a dead bird in the nest, or a lazy teenager that they are getting ready to kick out?

Hey, single-level homes are in short supply these days.

Soon to be empty nester.

My spouse died recently, and within two weeks I got two calls from two different people wondering about buying the house. They didn’t identify as realtors, so they may have just been obituary mavens or something. A little ghoulish, but the real trouble is that we don’t live in a house, sold it a year before.

More like ‘surreal’ estate.

Right behind the mortician and the lawyers.

Vultures!

I’m surprised they’re not vultures.